- Honestly not sure where to start. In 2021 I was in a car accident with my dad. Dude ran the red light, t-boned us and totaled my dad’s car. We were fine (so we thought at least). Fast forward to fall 2022 when I started noticing some pain in my chest area. It would happen taking heavy breaths, moving my neck, heavy lifting, any kind of physical activity would aggravate it. Which my job in a warehouse for a very popular shipping company called for every shift, all shift. Went to my doctor and he had me complete some tests. EKG, X-Rays, Lung checks, all of which came back normal. At this point he was stumped and after some research of his own he came to the conclusion that my condition seems to be costochondritis. It is inflammation of the sternum (breast bone). He recommended me to take a few weeks off work with something called FMLA. (Family and Medical Leave Act) Basically federally protected medical leave. As well as prescribed some anti-inflammatories that I took daily which did not help. I complete the paperwork and take my time off to rest. I received slight relief in my time off, not hurting as much but upon returning to work 4 works later, my pain returned by the end of the work week. I returned to my doctor with this information but aside from more rest and time off work, he didn’t have much else to offer me. Costochondritis can be long-lasting with some not healing until even years after which leaves me where I am today.
But to continue, as the Christmas season and 2023 approached, as well as my transfer to a new facility processing so I can be with my partner across the country, I needed to work to pay my bills, I chose to return to work. For the time being and revisit the topic of tike off later.
I received approval of my transfer in the summer of 2023 which was exciting. Felt like a new start for me and the beginning of our life together as a couple.
This takes me to where I am now three years later. My pain hasn’t healed and has only gotten worse. Literally just resting at home in bed can be painful for me. Every movement I make using my upper body just hurts so much. I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. But to give context I decided to take some time for myself this year and take time off to rest. I had my Doctor here sign me off for FMLA so I can take off work one day a week to rest. I can call out one day every week, paid or unpaid (whether I have leave or not) and it will be job-protected. As spring approaches I notice my pain not getting any better. And I start entertaining the idea of taking a prolonged time off work. In a moment of (what I felt at the time was) weakness, I decided to take long-term FMLA. I have just been renewing it every couple of months since May. I have been taking this time to take more care of our home and try and cook more as well as just work on my overall health/mental health. This time off has been everything but healing sadly.
My mental health has hit an all-time low. I have my partner, of course we love and have one another, but they are also taking care of their own responsibilities that I am trying to support them with. We are both young and attempting to set up the future chapters in our lives. They are in school and working hard for a career in the medical field. All while working full time.
The past year has been very tough for me. I had a relative I had a close relationship with as a kid commit suicide last Fall (2025), as well as another 3 who decided to die by the end of 2025 in differing violent ways. My whole life I have been just watching my loved ones die while I go on. It takes a toll on a person. But you aren’t my therapist (which I started seeing this year thankfully). I bring this up as it was triggering to me as I had a friend of 10 years commit suicide in 2020 as well. It was a sad and violent death and it just brought me into this dark place I have been struggling to get myself out of.
Fast forward to where I am now. I ran out of sick leave and now I am learning from coworkers that our jobs may be at risk. Some coworkers are receiving letters in the mail about their job bids no longer being valid so they no longer have an assigned position. These are people at the facility way longer than I have been. I have also received a letter from the manager at my office that my FMLA protected leave balance is up for the work year. I was asked to provide more medical documentation by a certain deadline. Which I did send, therapy, PT, doc visits, etc. I have receipts in case. But I checked my mail the other day to find a letter that my job may be in danger due to my time off. This feels so unfair. I was and am still in so much pain. And when I try to take care of myself so I can heal I feel like the world punishes me. I am in so much debt now that I took out a loan to consolidate (yes, I’m stupid and found out too late). I can barely afford my weekly therapy appointments anymore which is my only form of mental health care right now. Let alone pay my half of rent. My partner is being sweet and covering it for me right now. But that is only sustainable for so long. My job pays more than theirs. I don’t want to live every day like this. I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. I need to work but if I do my body just breaks even more. Everything hurts all the time. My chest, body, my brain. I love my partner and our life together. I would also like to specify I am working on myself and my health with my doctor and therapist to find other causes too.
Literally anything you can offer or if you know someone who can offer something, please share with them. Thank you for your time.
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