I am enrolled in a community college as a film student. I am taking 24 credits this semester, have a 3.96 GPA, assist with leading the dance club, and am a member of two honors societies in school. I work graveyard shifts as a caregiver to get by between school, homework, and projects. I am able to get by and pay for the community college tuition through FAFSA; however, aside from paying bills and buying groceries, I am not able to fund the school projects I want to. I am focused on writing, directing, and assisting with wardrobe on others’ projects. To get into a 4-year college, I will have to also show my work. So far, I have been lucky enough to work with others who have cameras and cheap costuming to enter some of my film projects in local festivals. However, those projects so far have been more experimental to learn how to run a production. I have written a longer script with actual character development in the genre I intend to keep writing in. I believe in this project, but it requires some funding to rent locations and some more elaborate costuming. This is the project I want to enter into more competitive film festivals and show as my work to get into a 4-year college.
A bit more about my background: I am 30-years-old because I didn’t go straight to college after high school. I expected to fail and thought it was a waste of money, since I was too scared to pursue what I actually wanted to do and didn’t see a point. I was too unfocused, too anxious, and too fearful to do anything regarding school. While working a lot of different dead-end jobs, I still learned via online courses and video essays. I had a passion for work, but I had no confidence that I’d be any sort of success, so I accepted a life of dead-end jobs and watching others do and teach about my passions. It wasn’t until ten years after graduating high school that I finally decided to pursue a degree. It was terrifying because school had always been a challenge for me as I grew up with ADHD, OCD, and was diagnosed as an adult with PTSD. Although my PTSD diagnosis initially revealed the depth of my academic struggles, seeking treatment and confronting my fears transformed my mindset, rebuilt my confidence, and reshaped my approach to education and life.
Growing up with diagnosed ADHD and OCD was a challenge. I struggled with school and socializing, and felt like there was something inherently and deeply flawed with me. It was as if I was specifically broken in a way that others weren’t, and that couldn’t be fixed. It was a very heavy burden I felt alone in carrying. I was scared, and it was hard to regulate my emotions; along with a difficult home life, school was a particular challenge, and even just completing schoolwork was a challenge. I believed that my academic struggle defined who I was. It came with a lot of shame and embarrassment.
It wasn’t until my mid-twenties that I received a diagnosis of PTSD. It was tough at first to come to terms with it. It opened my eyes to a lot of why so much of my life felt grueling and unfair. However, it also helped me find the steps that would actually lead to my mental health improving. I began biofeedback treatment that lasted several months. It cleared my mind, taught my body how to regulate, and helped me feel more confident and capable. It was during treatment that I decided to go back to school despite the lingering anxiety.
I faced my fears that came with returning to school. The discomfort of feeling like I was too old to start over, the fear that I would fail, and the hurdle of wondering if I could overcome the things that kept me from succeeding in school before. It was the best decision I made. Since restarting my education, I’ve found that I can not learn enough. I have increased my classes to nine a semester while balancing leading a club, honor society events, and projects because there is so much to learn and do. Balancing all of that with work has been complicated, but doable. In the two years, my life has completely changed. I’ve met so many wonderful people, excelled in classes of subjects I’ve always been interested in, and decided to go for opportunities I hadn’t dreamed of before.
I look back on what my life was just over two years ago. I was lost, stuck, and dreaming so small because I didn’t believe in myself at all. Since overcoming all of these challenges, I have gained a level of confidence in myself and my capabilities that I didn’t know was possible. Even though my PTSD diagnosis was an overwhelming discovery, it was the catalyst for a transformation of my life that could only come from something that big, forcing me into action. I now know that if I put my mind to anything, the sky is the limit to where I can go and what I can achieve. I have committed to lifelong learning. Even after I am finished pursuing my degrees, I plan to stay active in some form of schooling.
I am asking for $25,000.00 USD to fund my projects, buy equipment, hire actors and crew, and rent spaces. Any amount is a huge help!
I thank anyone who contributes to my education, projects, and my future. I will work hard to make the absolute most of it! I am already so grateful for what I already have and what I’ve been able to do, but the possibility of doing more motivates me like no other. The fire I have to make these future projects work is almost overwhelming when I think about how, but financial backing is the biggest step that makes all of it doable. So thank you, especially if you made it this far into my ramble!