I am so ashamed of doing this…
But I have a family relying on me, and lots more in desperate need, who are – because of my reputation for caring and providing – looking at me for help.
I HAVE to put my pride in my pocket and appeal to ANYONE who can help – in ANY way.
I am NOT a scammer or an opportunist, and I am battling with THIS extremely humiliating act of appeal for altruism and benevolence – it’s NOT who I am. I grew up with nothing, and all of the wealth I once had, was earned through hard work and perseverance. And ironically, lost the same way…
So if you are wealthy, consider my story and imagine all of this happening to you. Believe me – if you think it can’t, I used to think that too.
So, if you are reading this,
THANK YOU,
even just for reading. Whether you are in a position to help with a donation or some other solution or not, knowing that I have the opportunity to tell my story to an audience with members altruistic enough to even look at something like this, gives me a glimmer of hope in an otherwise ever-darkening world.
My apologies – even though I am attempting to keep this short, the need for some background and explanation makes it a bit long-winded, but I do not want anyone to lose the essence of who I am or the sincerity of my desperation in doing this. The long explanation also compounds the fact that although any donations at this stage would be a God-send, ANY act of altruism such as gainful employment or a business-opportunity where my skills and / or experience could be useful, would be more than welcome.
My Story…
I was born into a poor South African family, under bad domestic circumstances. I was not my mother’s husband’s child, something which I only learnt shortly before their deaths. This caused all sorts of resentments, which only seemed more profoundly true once they actually had my younger brother. Long story short, I was NOT the favourite child, and grew up basically without encouragement or support.
Having no funding or other options to study further, I joined the Army as a career-soldier and later transferred to being a career-policeman – careers which did not require further education, other than the training provided.
I was good in these military environments, as it gave me structure, discipline and a constant need to perform, to be better (something which wasn’t encouraged in my childhood). My skills eventually led me to the private sector where there was a lot more money to be made as a military contractor, which direction I pursued for a number of years.
Eventually, I realised that my career was somewhat self-defeating, and as I had made enough money to fund my own further studies, I pursued further professional education in Psychology, which opened amazing avenues of potential. My previous military experience gave me a unique insight into people in all sorts of situations, and – combined with the new knowledge in psychology – made me a sought-after consultant for large international corporations in all sorts of scenarios. I became known as a “Solutions-Engineer” and basically wrote my own pay-check… I became very wealthy doing this, and travelled all over the world, resolving workforce and management-issues for a wide variety of clients.
During 2017, I realised that my father (my mother’s husband and the only ‘father’ I ever knew) had become quite frail, and could no longer adequately survive unassisted. As my mother had divorced him and remarried some years earlier, my younger brother was elsewhere in the country and I was frequently travelling internationally, I found him accommodation in a retirement-orientated community home, which was where he insisted he wanted to be.
This home also accommodated disenfranchised elderly – the destitute old people who had been ‘thrown away’ by their families, and could not afford to live in proper retirement facilities. It was run down, a part of the building had collapsed, a large part of the 235-room building had not had hot water for 11 years, and some rooms had not had any water for 4 years.
While waiting for visas and a contract to start a large project in Belize, I gradually got involved in the social aspects of the home. I volunteered and started doing exercise-programs with the elderly, organised social events and offered my services to take them to doctors and medical facilities – all for free.
A short while later, I was informed that this business was closing down, as the current management were retiring and they (the board) could not afford to hire new management, nor maintain any aspects of the business any longer.
So, having built close relationships with most of the residents, I saw the anguish they went through at this prospect, and decided to do something about it. I volunteered to take over the business, run it personally and do all the necessary repairs, maintenance and upgrades myself. I officially took over during 2018.
Over the next three years, I invested most of my own personal funds in doing just that.
At this stage, the longest serving director on the board approached me and asked for my help. According to him, the board and its practices were corrupt, and he was no longer prepared to stand by and see the business and the residents in the building having to suffer the consequences thereof. His concern was also as regards the amount of my personal funds I had already invested in the business, and that if we DIDN’T do something, I would never get it back… Having served as a member of the board for 22 years, he had all the relevant information to prove their corruption and malpractice, but needed my help to substantiate how much the business had improved since it was being run openly and transparently, and as comparison to what had been going on there before I took over. For instance:
- When I took over, the occupancy-rate was 32%. Within 7 months, we had improved the business so much that occupancy was at 99%.
- Before, an average of 66 people had died per year there – mainly due to lack of care and medical attention. I had converted an entire floor to Frail Care and Assisted Living and built a Dementia / Alzheimers wing, with nursing staff on duty 24 hours per day. I had bought two small busses to be able to ferry people to doctors, clinics and hospitals and had a service-contract with a private ambulance-service. Consequently, deaths reduced to 22 in my first year, 14 in the second year, and only 7 in the third year – in the midst of Covid-19.
- The collapsed parts of the building and the swimming pool were rebuilt and / or repaired.
- All the original plumbing and central boiler-system was removed and replaced with more modern, power-saving single point of use water-heaters.
- The grounds were cleaned and landscaped, with collapsed walls removed and new retaining structures installed.
- The previous badly run, badly manipulated financial management-systems were cast out and replaced with an online, live accounting system, and all finances and assets were continuously tracked.
He registered a case against the board, and the fight was on. As the case was about to go to court, this director and I both contracted Covid-19… he didn’t make it.
With him no longer able to help pursue the matter to its intended conclusion with his personal witness-evidence, my legal team advised me to walk away from it, which I did. I had no way of reclaiming the money I had spent on the business.
Immediately, a group of the residents came to me and asked me whether I would consider opening another similar facility – they were simply no longer prepared to stay there if I left. I took the rest of what I had left of my personal wealth and did exactly that. My ‘father’ moved with.
Now, the problem with elderly people is that ultimately, they don’t last… I saw them all passing away and the meagre amount they contributed to their own survival dwindle even further (the agreement was that they would pay as much as they could afford, hoping that we would become large enough to qualify as an NPO, with welfare funding).
In 2023, one of my elderly residents suddenly became ill and was admitted to hospital. As her medical aid only provided for admission to a government-hospital, that was where she went. The treatment and care was absolutely dismal, and after consultation with her family (all overseas), I moved her to a private hospital, where she would receive better care – the family had agreed to pay the bill. It was too late for her though, and she passed away in hospital three weeks later.
The family was suddenly nowhere to be seen, and as I had admitted her to the hospital, I was responsible for the considerably large account. I paid it.
Six months later, on 01 February 2024, my ‘father’ had a massive stroke, caused by what was later discovered to be a frontal lobe tumour. As he had good medical aid (comprehensive all-cover, or so we thought), he was admitted to the same private hospital. He spent two months in intensive care and died on 01 April 2024. The medical aid only covered the first week in intensive care – the rest of the account was mine to pay – an astronomical amount. Even though he and my mother had not spoken to each other for 40 years, she died 5 days later, on 06 April 2024.
After having paid all medical costs, debts and funeral arrangements for both, I have nothing left. I had to close my business, sell most of my assets, move into rented accommodation and sell my own luxury vehicle.
I went from owning a top of the range Range Rover (which I drove), a 3-series BMW (which my father drove), a 5-series BMW (which my mother drove), a beachfront house (where my mother and her husband had lived), a small farm and a large house (in which my residents were housed) to nothing – not even transport – in seemingly a blink of an eye. My bank accounts and credit cards are depleted to the point where I am not even answering my phone anymore, for fear that it is just another debt-collector calling.
I am in a committed relationship with a widow with 3 children, ages 17, 15 and 5, all who co-habit with me in my rented house. We were supposed to have gotten married already, but I am not prepared to commit to a marriage where I cannot afford to provide for those in my house.
I have now run out of things to sell, and there is no food left. School-fees have not been paid, and I cannot afford to pay the rent for next month. Even though my fiancé does work, this is only a half-day job, and it is only enough to survive for about a week in the month.
I have been working ceaselessly at starting my own monetized Youtube-channel, but anyone who has tried this will tell you that it takes a long time before that actually starts paying. I have applied for an endless number of jobs, but I am a 58 year old white man in South Africa (I am NOT making a political statement, simply outlining the circumstances) – I am too old, too white and too qualified to be employed here – companies are essentially penalised for employing white persons.
I have even done odd maintenance jobs for the local community, such as putting up fences, welding, plumbing, building and servicing and repairing ride-on mowers in an effort to bring in SOMETHING. Small community though, and there is not enough work to do to survive, or enough money to pay for it.
I NEED HELP!!!
Please – I just need a bit of kindness and consideration for a change. While I understand that there are HEROES who would give without expecting recompense, I would prefer if they could at least send me an email address, so I could – at the absolute very least – offer my heartfelt gratitude for their kindness.
PLEASE! If there is anyone left in this world who is still prepared to look after someone in need like I did (and lost everything because of it), I beg of you… if at all possible, I WILL repay you. I just need to survive and keep myself and my family under a roof for a little while longer, while I try to get a sustainable income from Youtube or elsewhere to perhaps once again look at restarting my business.
Thank you for reading my story… And IF you decide to help me,
THANK YOU!
You are my hero…
My name is Ettiene Fivaz.
Any donations can be made to the following Paypal Account:-