im 55 years old , I have 1 son at home about to go to University in sept.
i have lived with my husband for 10 years married for 6 , of course like any relationship it started wonderful , then as time went on , trying to work hard look after my son and husband I realised nothing was good enough for him constant criticism the look the anger when dinner wasn’t ready the silent treatment for sometimes weeks at a time acting like I don’t even exist, the abuse calling me names when I try to get him to talk telling me to f….. off no one wants you . The trapped feeling taking and hiding the car keys when he’s in one of his moods the vile gestures . Always being aware that he could go off in one of his moods . Anxiety stress nerves.
not knowing if I’ll be able to get to work living in a rural environment, no public transport the humility I feel when I have to say to my employer I’m sick because I can’t get to work . Only having enough money for food control is what he’s about ,struggling whether I can buy this or that or put fuel in the car hoping the tank will get me to work and manage till pay day . The control over the car the money never being able to save .
he has three houses rented out I clean them at end of tenancy and contact repair people when and if they are needed . Painted cleaned up the gardens checked the properties every 6 months .
Then when I want to leave he won’t let me live in one of the properties, won’t let me give notice won’t let me have car keys won’t let me have any money I desperate need to get out yet I have no money to pay for a deposit or rent to get into a place to escape him and then divorce him and get the share I deserve my son deserves we are unhappy tense and the atmosphere in the house is instantly turned cold when he walks in the door , no happiness laughter joy . Just criticism, and disappointed looks yet he says he loves me . No he needs me as a cook cleaner and everything else . I’m sad lonely and want to feel free and sing and leave stuff about invite friends over jump about dance oh how wonderful that would feel . Help me escape and get s place of my own to start over with my son and me living not existing .
I hope to one day start a charity myself for women like me who just need that little financial help to escape .
Thank you you for your time xxxxxx