So my story is quite long. I’ve probably retyped this just to compact it more and more. So here’s my last go. My name is my Kurtis, I’m 24, and I’m currently in a position that I’ve never expected.
*skip until you see “END” to get the basic idea*
So my early age I had struggled with school due to me always worrying about my parents being okay financially. Always finding ways to earn more to sneak it into their laundry while it was in the dry to act like they forgot to take it out. What I did to earn money was typical. I only saw it as something I couldn’t do all my life and wanted to earn a honest dollar. Parents divorce sort of drove me to work more in hope that money could bring them back I mean I had started out doing landscaping at age 9, so any other sources of income felt like a cake walk.
After a while it was just my dad and I. I was the only one he didn’t kick out over the span of my lifetime. I chose to move out due to his current girlfriend speaking poorly about our families downfalls and I was suspected of apologizing for speaking up the one and only time. Out of a weekly pattern. So I left. Became roommates with a old friend and one of his friends. We all make music. Seemed great.
Gradually, they became more transparent in how they just used me to get by while they lied to their family as if they’re independent. Meanwhile I hadn’t talked to my family in over a year. As time went on, each person used me more and more and I had no other options but to be on the streets or go onto the next. I had about $8k saved up before moving their. As the time went on, I ended up with 2 new roommates who did the same, a cat they brought and abandoned, terminated from work, hospital visit, no lights/water, lost registration and insurance on my car, multiple tickets, and an eviction notice to be out shortly before my birthday. It was almost as if the universe was like: “well okay.. kurt. I’m going to do you a solid okay? I mean you had a good run. A great run actually. But, how about I lend a hand and make aaallll your life lessons happen… all at once.. cool? Okay cool. Bam.”
And here I am now. Luckily moved in with old coworkers who understand my situation. I’m trying to work for doordash at the moment while I go through counseling/therapy for the depression I’ve dealt with since a child. It’s been a challenge. I don’t like hearing I have a “chemical imbalance” all the time, but it’s a work in progress.
Only thing with my work situation is I can’t truly thrive as much as I’d love to. Just to get accepted by doordash, I had to sign up with a bike.. and have to make a 45 minute trip just to work and make about $20 for the following week. More if I get lucky enough to get a ride out their. I have my car still but can’t legally drive – so In turn I can’t get jobs in my down city for doordash. I just need car insurance and a smog check!! Literally those two things will flip the switch for me to thrive and dig myself out this hole.
I could just make up a sob story in hopes to come up on quick cash to buy me time. But I honestly want to make music my passion. And to be successful. The journey is what I want. I want to go find my mom and visit her and my sister and make things right with my dad. Get to see my grandparents before the liver cancer gets bad for my grandfather. Just work on cars with him. Experience life and get the chance to feel like a kid again, haha. I know I can’t, but man. I never wanted kids. But when I think of if I’m just given that chance to flip things around for myself… I actually want a family and feel normal. I want to strive to have earn my spot. Be able to go on morning runs with my loved one after dropping my kids off. I want to, live before it’s too late.
Ive utilized many local resources but they limit you’re potential. Make you feel stuck in place. I want to travel damn it! I want to be there for my parents instead of having them in a nursing home. I want to make sure they know I loved them no matter what happened and prove to them I could make a change. I hear too many people tell me to do the music thing as though I can just not work for it.
I’m sorry, but I just want to do great. Literally only about $500 could help create a legacy. I believe in myself more than anyone. Even if you don’t like the idea of the path I want.. at least value the fact I want to build something and be successful and help others as not be afraid to at least make that attempt. I promise you. Whether it be weeks or months… by next year I’ll have something to show for it.