My name is Meaghan A and I am here simply looking for a miracle. I am 45, married with a soon to be six-year-old son. We tried for 5 years to have him and finally gave up when I was 38… only to be surprised with 5 positive pregnancy tests the next month! I have always wanted to be a mom, I want to be the best mom to my son and wife to my husband, but I’m failing in every way.
I work more than full time and have worked since I was 12. Work has always been a huge part of my identity, but lately, I’m realizing it’s literally impossible to do it all. My job was considered essential during Covid-19 and increased in the amount of hours necessary, but also in the amount of unhappy clients I have to deal with on a daily basis. I left that job after 10 years to another company… but it’s the same. Everyone I know who has taken new jobs this year says the same thing as well, so I don’t have a lot of hope, or the energy frankly, to job hop.
I’m exhausted, my weight has skyrocketed, my blood pressure is off the charts if I don’t take daily medication. Zoloft is taking care of a portion of my anxiety. Even as I type this out I’m frustrated. I shouldn’t be on any of those medications. I should be able to just go to the gym or take walks as needed. The bottom line is I’m exhausted. My employer is getting half a person and my family is getting the other half. Sadly, that really leaves nothing left for me.
I’ve tried side gigs, trying to see if I can earn enough to quit my job and focus on my family only to find clients demands, keeping up on inventory, going to the post office, there’s not enough time in the day to do it successfully.
I cannot quit my job until our house is paid off. We have approximately $130,000.00 and about another 7 years for it to be fully paid off. I truly don’t know if I’m going to make it that long. We could refinance, but that just adds time to the loan, and I don’t want to do that.
I currently earn $61,000.00 per year; I was originally going to ask for that amount of money so I could take a year off and just breathe. Get my health back on track. Get to know my husband again. Make sure my son knows he’s more important to me than work. The thing is, I don’t know how I would ever go back to work again. I think in one year the anxiety I would experience about having to go back to work may actually kill me. I just don’t want to work full time anymore. I want to be a person again.
I’m asking for $150,000.00 to pay off my house, our debt and float a years’ worth of bill payments, (utilities, water, etc). I understand this is maybe not as worthwhile as someone who needs their medical bills paid or is about to lose their house, but it is just as important to me and my family. I’m also not expecting anyone who is in their own hardship situation to donate a single penny to me. I’m just here literally begging for money like the site says, hoping there’s a random billionaire or multi-millionaire who has this money lying around in their couch cushions and piggy banks who can understand my situation and want to help.
I am a good mom but I want to be the best mom. I want to take my son on adventures and have the time to take care of myself and my house. I don’t want to cram life into a two-day weekend anymore or use my vacation time to go to family events, I’ve never been on an actual vacation in my life. Well, once I went to Las Vegas for 3 days and we considered that our honeymoon, but again – rush rush rush and the work was just waiting for me when I got back so what was the point.
I feel this turning into a rant so I’ll throw this coin into the wishing well now. Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I realize it’s not unique or tragic, but just taking a chance.