I have always been independent. Too proud to ask for help from others, taught to always survive by doing your best. Spent most of my life helping others as a law enforcement officer. In 1996, I married to my soul-mate. Someone that meets no stranger, and will do without to help someone else in need. A wonderful woman that deserves so much more than I can now give.
We were both disabled around 2000. We have done pretty good to stay afloat for the last 20 years, although at times it hasn’t been easy living on just disability. For a while we supplemented our income breeding some of the finest Great Danes. Then our disabilities (back injuries) progressed to the point, we just couldn’t do it any longer. Around 2013 we downsized, after the last of our two children married and moved on.
During that move in 2013 I suffered a stroke that left me without the use of my left side. With help and determination I regained the use of my left side. Moving from the small rental in 2016, to a 1987 double wide mobile home (yes, it’s old). We wanted something we could eventually own. Not expensive and being a fixer-upper, and we needed more room for her mother who was in end stage COPD. We have worked hard on this place. In 4 years we had it paid off. The trailer, which is in a trailer park that is not our idea of heaven. We were doing okay. In 2016, we managed to replace our 18-year-old Dodge Durango, with a 2014 Dodge Avenger.
Then in August 2017 I suffered a massive heart attack. Medical bills kept us from continuing repairs to the trailer. It seems like you fix one thing, and two more break. The hope of repairs and roofing have died. Since the heart attack, I am not able to do the physical work needed.
2019 We had to let the Car go back to the bank, and we filed bankruptcy, and we are paying towards our debts (mostly medical). A nice private individual person locally, sold us a 2001 Toyota on payments. It has to have work from time to time, but it is paid for as of this month. We are thankful for that.
You would think, that with no rent, and no car payment (except insurance) Things would smooth out. But just a busted pipe in a wall last year (old piping that I had wanted to replace) resulted in a $200 water bill, and the water company is not sympathetic to accidents. Then each time there is a leak from the ancient roof, I have to pay someone to patch it.
I have watched the woman I love, in bed crying with a toothache so severe that the roof of her mouth swelled with infection, but dental insurance as most know, is beyond reach of people on limited income. I turned 68 last month, and I really don’t want to leave this world knowing I couldn’t do better for her.
February saw the passing of her mother.
I would never have dreamed I would ask for help, but I have floors that are falling through where the roof has leaked and the wood is failing. The final straw, was awakening in the last storm, to water dripping on her side of the bed.
Our dream had been to fix up this place, move it to an acre or so in the country, or sell it and get another place. I’m no longer able to keep it repaired even. I’ve got to somehow get us out of here, and into a better place.
Thanks for listening, bless you all.