Im embarrassed to even have to look up a site like this but life has its ups n downs, I’ve enjoyed a very interesting and hard 16+ years of climbing and aestheticly pruning trees that has taken a tole on my whole life and i wish i had a time machine id go back and try again. My best friend and mother of my wonderful boys found another who was connected to drugs andunemployed so had more time,energy and unfortunate things to give to her to get her to leave us twice. Since the teee work was so hard on me it has been an extremely stressful and difficult time readjusting and finding something i can do to support my family, as well as bring in a substantial enough income to be able to keep my boys in a neighborhood unlike the one i grew up in,and provide enough extra curriculars and such that my boys are positive upstanding,contributing men in society.my oldest is graduating soon i cannot afford anything as far as a cap and gown,anything for him after graduation,im so incredibly proud and sad at the same time,my other boys need clothes and my car is falling apart,ive been able to have the bare necessities and keep my bills at a minimum,but the extras are not, just not.ive reconnected with a crush from high-school and we signed papers and gor married no ceremony because of money,so no honeymoon,at this point i feel totally like im not doing what a man should for his family and it hurts my heart and soul.My wife and boys deserve so much more than what im giving,ive been trying so hard with little traction untill late, but it wont be enough and in time,so unfortunately i need help,and im hoping someone kind and willing hears my plea……extremely ashamed 💙 ❤️