Hey I’m a 22 year old nerd that hasn’t had the chance to get into the work force yet and I’m asking for 1 small request from strangers on the internet.
I grew up in a not so great household. my mom was a depressed, borderline skitzophrenic that only new how to manipulate and lie to people so she could steal from them and never wanted to put in the work herself. We never had much money growing up and as a nerd with ADHD I constantly needed stimulation. Unfortunately I learned not to ask for things like video game unless it was Xmas but even then I knew I’d probably never would get it because she would always without fail prioritize her beer and cigarettes over anything we would ever easy for even on a good day when we happen to have a little extra money.
Now my sister got the worse end of it because my mom would constantly try to fight us when she got drunk and then pretend she didn’t remember or forget it happened at all the next morning and then try to bribe me with let’s go get this that or the other thing but never what I actually wanted always what she budgeted for after her alcohol and cigarettes. We could barely even have money for food sometimes .
Me and my sister have recently found out then she may have been actually using meth or something of the sorts maybe popping pills on the side as well which would explain her fits of rage keeping us up all night as we tried to stop fighting but mom would always find something be angry about which is why we think this . This of course being amore recent discovery after having moved out.
Coming to realisiation in how absolutely messed up she made us has now made me realize it’s easier to ask for a few buck from strangers on the internet than my own family out of habit from not wanting to be disappointed by my own mom who never seemed to ever try to do a little extra for her kids once in a while. Not all the time, just here and there.
My anxiety for asking for things is so ridiculously high I can’t even ask for food when my family asks what I want to eat now , I feel weird asking for anything for my birthday or for Xmas because my mom made me feel like it was selfish of me and I should know better than to ask for such expensive things when money’s already tights and she has to buy her beer first then pay bills then what ever was left we could use for food and if any was left after food maybe we could have that last 5$ to save for a game, a book I was wanting, a movie ticket to go out with friends.
This is how I grew up in instant fear anxiety and shame of asking for simple not even expensive items at time because of her lack of care or mindfulness of how to save and budget money correctly.
I know this is stupid of me still to be asking for something so absolutely ridiculous but anything helps I’m trying to maybe save up for a truck, I’ve always wanted a truck maybe a ranger or Colorado if not a truck then perhaps a Subaru or something so I can start looking at jobs soon and maybe buy a video game DLC in complohinestly to help with my anxiety and adhd gets bad I like to play elder scrolls online and would enjoy getting to play the new black wood DLC
I would very greatly appreciate any help please 20-40$ is more than enough for me to even get started somewhere. Please and thank you I hope you all are safe and are willing to help such a hopeless nerd that doesn’t need this nearly a such as most but is struggling to pay her phone bill on time as well
My pay pal is
https://www.paypal.me/EV0240