Hello world, my name is Jeremy. I’ve lived in south Alabama my entire life. I am 26 years old & took on the adult life quite early. By 15, I had my first daughter. So like usual, I dropped out of high school & began working full time to at least say I was doing my part as a young father. Life has been a pretty weird roller coaster for me. It’s had its hills, but it’s mostly been valleys. I’m not writing this for a pity gain or to really BEG for money, I feel as though it’s just therapy. But what else landed me here if I wasn’t actually having money troubles? I’ve been pretty hardheaded my entire life if I’m being honest. I’ve failed a lot and I don’t always hit the mark, though I try to get as close as possible. With that said, once I turned 18, I really changed. Or.. something changed. I did become more responsible & more mature. I started treating my job with much more respect & really wanting to find something I was good at. As a kid, I’ve been to 14 public schools. I believe I was only kicked out of one, and kicked out of a homeschool. I mean, how do you get kicked out of a homeschool? We moved a lot as a kid. I only had my mom. My dad did like 13 years in prison for rape when I was 2 years old. I’ve met him a handful of times, but haven’t actually seen or talked to him since before turning 18. My mom was a wild one, she didn’t let me slow her down. After years and years of bad choices, more ups than Downs, drug addiction, alcohol, guilt, & shame… She finally cracked after I turned 18. She committed suicide by jumping off a bridge. She was my best friend & it’s been nearly 9 years since I’ve seen her face. So with no mom and no dad at 18, I guess I shut down in some ways. Not really a bad thing. I tried to have my priorities in line & really stopped with any sort of partying. It grounded me in a way, kept me in a straighter line than where I was. So at 26 now, nearly 27. Anything & everything I have has came from me & my hands. I say this without ignoring that it’s God keeping me close this whole time, or at least that’s what I hope. If I explained who my sisters or brothers are, I’m an Angel. One brother dead, the other brother in and out of prison his whole life. He actually shot the first brother in the head when they were teenagers, OVER A GANG INITIATION. We are white folk for Christ’s sake. This was a shot at humor. (: I started in the beginning of the post, this would more than likely just be therapy for me. It’s easier to type my life out than it is to speak to someone’s face. I have a pretty goofy only sometimes serious demeanor. It’s helped me become very sociable, but sometimes I dislike it because I believe my personality is keeping me from grabbing my life by the horns. At 26, I own my home. I bought it last year, on my own. I have a truck that is paid off, it’s 16 years old, but it’s paid off darn it. I have a career now, 6 years strong with a Fortune 500 company. Typing this, kinda hard to believe I’m on a website literally called begging money, but there’s a reason. I can only call it that I’m not the best with money. I’ve made some stupid decisions in the past 2 years that when you look at the big picture, they are gonna be bothering me well into my 30s & that just pisses me off. I never had guidance with anything, literally. It’s been my own morals going with all this & God’s mercy, but sometimes I wish I could go back and save my mom. She probably still wouldn’t have been able to guide anything, but she’d be there to tell me she loved me either way. Life is hard & without parents, it’s even harder. Take that, have 3 kids by the time your 27, make stupid financial decisions, & the outlook becomes depressing. I do appreciate the opportunity to clear some things off my chest. Mainly how I think life has gotten out of reach for a lot of folk nowadays. Sure, I’m down & my outlook on life isn’t the greatest… but there are far more people out there with nothing close to what I have and have it a lot worse, I do realize that. I also had to bury my second daughter due to strange heart defect at birth. That whole time was so hectic, I don’t think I truly ever stopped to think about the situation at hand. I had my first son another year later, he is over one year old now, I truly love my boy. Now my wife is pregnant, 7 months so far with another girl. We’re always crossing our fingers in hopes we get to keep the children we make. Back to the bread and butter of this post… I could go on for days about my short life here on earth, as could anyone.. But my bad past choices, which will have a lingering effect well into my 30s. They have really brought my will down. I try to look ahead and try to just enjoy life, but this debt I’ve incurred just sometimes blinds me. I’m no longer working to fulfill myself or my family, I’m working to fulfill someone else’s bank account & I hate that. Bottom line. ;/ I owe around 15k total in debt. It’s eating away at my overhead and I’m looking at another 5 to 7 years before this stuff is paid off. A personal loan & a second mortgage to Help me make the down payment on my home. To someone making barely making 40k, 3 kids, a mortgage, the bills, trying to live is a darn full time job in itself. A job, I really feel like that I’m the CEO, the manager, the supervisor, and the worker in. But I do know we live in a huge world, with a lot of rich folk. I know 15k to me is a mountain, but I know to the right others, it’s a tiny rock on the road. Lmao. Isn’t that wild? To me, it’s life or death. To someone else, that could be a weekend at a resort or something. I’m just asking for help because I know if I ever got my debt paid way down, I could breathe better & look forward to my family growing and not be scared other wise. If anyone reads this, thank you. I’m not desperate & I’m not a pity case. It asked for 400 words, so I thought I would share a little.. like I said, a therapy session for me (: