I’m a 31 year old, stay at home momma to a perfect 14 month old boy.
Along with many others, my life changed so much at the start of the pandemic. I welcomed my first and only child in April of 2020, the purpose for my life!
When my son was 4 months old my dad was put in the hospital and nearly lost his life. I spent countless days and hours with him, bedside, as we were unsure what each day would bring. He has since been diagnosed with many health conditions, but most severe a central nervous system disease, and liver cirrhosis. He is primarily wheelchair bound but sometimes uses a walker. Frequently his legs spasm and he falls, often not able to get back up on his own for an extended period of time. He has memory and cognition issues, good days and bad days so-to-speak, but the bad days are more and more frequent. He’s constantly in pain and mobility is difficult. Lately, he’s been neglectful with his medications.
My dad originally asked me to come live with him, so I packed my family, we terminated a previous lease, and lived in his home for 6 months while he was in the hospital. His memory problems and personality changes started, and he told us to move out! We had to move again, to where we now reside.
My relationship with my dad has always been a bit of a rollercoaster, but I love him, and I want to make sure he has proper care. I hired a lawyer several months ago and unfortunately not much can be done legally to keep my dad in a safe space. He returned to his home against medical advice where he lives alone. For me to obtain legal guardianship I would have to petition it in court, which cannot be guaranteed to be granted, and it’s at a cost I can’t currently afford. Also, if I attempted this now, it would destroy our relationship! I have been preparing for months, and when it is time and it is 100% evident he is a danger to himself, I will file the petition.
I, myself, am struggling heavily with depression and severe anxiety. The physical symptoms are wearing on my mind and body.
My son is the light of my life, and he’s the reason I’m still breathing! My son is well cared for. His dad supports us, but one income is hard to live on. Renting is expensive, bills are daunting, and we feel we can’t catch a break. It feels as if it’s been one thing after another. We’re tired emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
I don’t have any specific requests, as anything would help. Regretfully, we’ve had to put necessities, like food, diapers, and the electric bill, on credit cards these last couple of months. Currently, I have $2,513 in credit card debt. I know it’s not much, but the interest rates are high and we’re trying hard to get ahead.
We are hoping we can buy our first home within a year or two. Our monthly rent is $1045 not including utilities. Unfortunately, that’s the cost of living in our area.
I want to give my son a home, and I want to help my family. I’m so busy with my dads affairs, it’s common for me to spend most of the day on the phone with his medical providers, nurse, social worker, etc.
I’m also hoping to eventually get myself into therapy and get my head straight. I don’t want to feel so sad and defeated!
My father can be verbally abusive, and it’s only getting worse. He’s changed so much in the last year.
This is my cry for help, in a way. I’m an only child and I feel as though so much responsibility rests on my shoulders. I want so desperately to be a good mom, and daughter.
My favorite days are when I can take my son to a park or the beach, and play and adventure with him in nature. It’s our escape. His laughter is my favorite sound, and his happiness is my first priority!
Again, anything will help! It will allow me push a little further ahead and gain a little more confidence.
Donations for me and family can be made to PayPal.me/tiedyedalive
Thank you for your time and for reading my story!