Hello and thank you for reading our story.
We are a family of 3. My husband (36), our daughter (2,5) and me (38). We live in quite an expensive place – Prague, Czech Republic. I am on parental leave and my husband is a photographer. First of all I have to say I am very grateful for all we have, especially for our family, health, relationships, opportunities, living environment… And a part of me is really not quite convinced I should be asking for anything. The thing is, our reserves are getting smaller, as my husband had a tougher time in his business lately. He is a very good guy, modest, warm, sympathetic, open to learning new things, delivers 130% of what he is expected and his photos and workshops are great. We have a mortgage to pay (until we are 60yo), our car broke down several times in the last year, and we had to cover the winter months, when there was very little business for my husband, as well as a mandatory repair of a dangerous old balcony. Slowly the reserves shrank to the point, where it would be really threatening to us to have to touch it another time. I feel we are kind of stuck at the moment. Sometimes I complain my husband doesn’t spend much time with our daughter and I feel exhausted. And then I see how exhausted he is feeling with all that pressure that he puts on himself having to provide for all the three of us. Working late, thinking of new ways to bring money. He comes up with a lot ideas of how to widen his portfolio. We are both very sensitive people not wanting to cause any discomfort to each other / anyone. It hurts me seeing my husband so stressed out and I am worried about him as well as getting stressed out too. Although maybe not that good at selling his abilities, my husband has a job he has dreamed of since about the age of 18. I wish I could help him and also help us as a family live a calmer life, spend more time together, enjoy the family moments that will never come back. Maybe even enjoy a little holiday and get some rest. We would very much like to have a second child. It took over 3 years for our daughter to “come to us”, involving several miscarriages, and God knows, how long it will take this time. Planning ahead isn’t easy in these kinds of situations.
We tend to live very reasonably — buy mostly fresh food and prepare everything from scratch, cook the same food for more days, buy hardly any cosmetic products, use public transport as often as possible, buy preowned clothes, goods and child equipment. We visit the library instead of buying new books. We sell / swap / give redundant things instead of throwing them away. We don’t take our daughter to paid fun parks and similar places, don’t pay for any courses, rather we go out in nature, socialize her with similar aged friends. We care for the environment and avoid buying single use stuff, try to think ahead and contribute a little towards environment protection by caring for the insect, birds, trees.
I know I could go back to work. And it might help. But I feel our daughter still needs me and I value the relationship I have with her very much. It may seem weird, but she is still partially breast-fed and many people compliment her personality and speaking skills. Working and caring for her simultaneously might bring me closer to a burn-out I have once experienced in the past. It took me months to recover. Besides, there are not many “returning mom” jobs that would pay enough to cover kindergarten costs as well as improve our situation. We do have both our families living in the same city, so moving further to a cheaper region would not help much, as our parents are in their late 60’s now and we want to stay close. It might also cause another business struggle and involve further costs.
I feel ashamed to ask for help – especially when we are not in a deep crisis as such. But then I think – maybe there’s someone out there, who doesn’t mind or even likes helping and it can help us live a calmer life.
Thank you for reading the lengthy story and if you somehow relate to our situation, views or dreams, please consider helping:
Thank you a thousand times!