Hello I’m Noelle, and if I’m reaching out like this I must be feeling like I need help. for once.
I don’t even know how to begin but I have struggled financially since I left home to go to art school. I grew up in a very abusive household, physically and verbally. My father hustled for money doing under the table remodeling work and random jobs, and my mother worked three jobs to support her expensive taste and shopping habits.
After they split we lived solely with my mother and my siblings and I were constantly reminded of the financial burden we were putting on my them,they were always angry, expressing constant frustrations about their failed relationshop, never took family vacations, and when we were old enough to work our paychecks went straight to my mother. There was never any guidance on how to handle finances well, or were given the opportunity to set us up for adulthood, only leading by bad example.
Long story short I’ve been struggling since I’ve left home at 18 and I’m 41 now. I try my hardest to get ahead but I feel that no matter how hard I work I’m still just focusing on fixing my past.
I left for college as soon as I graduated with no information or skills to survive.
My heath and well being have taken a toll, I struggle to make even a doctors appointment regularly. Even things like the dentist are way low on my priority list. Rent is always first, necesity is always last.
Yes Ive made countless mistakes early on, but I had no knowledge or awareness of real life ahead when I left home at 18.
I just need some help, even if its a little. Ive been repairing for so long I haven’t been able to live like I should. I feel like Im a living version of my parents collective hatred. Always in the middle as a small child still paying for their mistakes, because they preferred to dump their lives mistakes on me instead of giving me the attention I deserved. Instead of love and support they’d tell me what was always wrong with them and physically took out their anger on me.
I will say I have been successful as an adult and in my career, but no matter what I’m doing I’m still repairing, never enough for the self care I need with things like regular checkups, dentist, and basic needs like clothes and food sometimes.
If you’re willing to help id appreciate that greatly.
Feel free to message me with any questions I am an open book and will share my story further.
PLEASE DONATE: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/my/profile