Before I met my husband I had already decided to live a child free life. Then I fell in love, then Covid happened. In retrospect, I always had doubts about us. The questions “is this really the life I want?” And “is this enough for me?” Have swirled around in my mind four nearly three years. We got married after a year and a half of dating, I know, very quick. But when I met him I was tired, I do love him still but I’ve been following his lead for so long that I lost Myself. I leaned Into what was comfortable and certain in a time of most uncertainty. I have been growing and transforming in ways he does not understand. I woke up from a dream where everything on the surface was beautiful, but there was no substance underneath. I had be honest with myself, with him. So last Sunday after coming home from a weekend away surrounded by crying babies and screaming toddlers, and hours upon hours of self reflection, I knew. That life is not for me. Since I was a child in a toxic, physically and emotionally abusive home I have only dreamed of being free. I was jaded and afraid, so I clung to the one man who immediately was always there. But that is not who I am. I am strong, resilient, and independent. I want to be independent. To make my own choices and be free to change my mind, to be free to pick up at a moments notice and go in an adventure. I want to choose things to fill my home with that being me joy. Now that I am moving into a new apartment alone, I am gaining the opportunity to design my life the way I wish it to be. I know this road will not be easy. I cycle through excitement and grief 100 times a day. But the one thing that keeps me going is the commitment to make this new apartment MY home. A place of solitude and rest. A place that recharges me and protects my energy so I may go out into the world with the confidence to be exactly who I am. My request though it may seem superficial, is to receive the money I need to furnish my new single woman’s apartment. $2,000, that is what I need. A couch, an ottoman, a wooden bed frame with a beautiful mid century head board. Things that will make me comfortable and happy in this new place in life. If you PayPal me you will know exactly what you are giving me. Peace of mind and the space to gain clarity.