Dear Readers, CashTag $BigMomaTess
First thank you for reading this. I don’t like to feel like I am begging, I really just want to see and hug my son with my own eyes and arms. I am going to tell you where he is and how he got there, my son is not a child but a (growing) man.
this is all online and I am far from proud, I am still his mother.
In January of 2020 my son was arrested for armed robbery. when I got this call my heart fell apart. how could this be happing I just left him on the 18th this is now the 20th. breath. hours go by I hear nothing I don’t know what had happened or what was going on I only know at this point he was arrested. he was hurt when the cops tried to pull them over and the other guy that was driving tried to run.
the story is they robbed some dollar general stores and a gas stion I think. or a subway in the area the lived in. this happened in Youngstown Ohio. my son was living with me in new jersey before this happened, we had been visiting Ohio for the holidays and when I returned to new jersey on the 18th he did not want to come back at that time so his sister and I left without him. I wish daily I could have got him to come home with me but he was 22 years old young and disillusioned.
I raised my children to help others not harm them and I raised them to look out for the little guy stick up for someone being bullied never be the bully. My son acted like a bully and for that I am disappointed in him. i had raised my children on my own their father walked out be for any of the even started school. I was married to their dad and he fathered all three of my children. he left when my oldest was 4, my only son was 3, and my baby was 16 months old. I was left with bills and debt I couldn’t pay on disability since I was 18 so never worked. but I was bringing up good kids kind and polite and helpful never mean to other or anything like that. so believe me when I say that this shook me. i didn’t have money for a lawyer so he had a federal public defender, my children and i all grew up broke poor lower class, he has a son and his son lives across the country in Oregon. sadly I have never got to meet him yet in person. I fear I am to blame for how this happened because no child want to be told no or not have cool things like the other kids Christmas and things they got what the needed and one or two things they could have fun with even though I knew buying the gifts it wasn’t close to what they wanted. but I had only the help of the state and I worked with what I had I learned early not to ask of anything from family so I don’t and I won’t.
the feds told me that my son was very well spoken and very polite for a criminal. he held a gun up and asked people to give him the money but used please and thank you…maim and sir WHAT… they asked him to tell on the others he couldn’t he didn’t know any of them but the kid driving the car when they got caught. that kid gave them name and things and they needed my son to confirm but he couldn’t he didn’t know their giving names. anyway he got 19 years first timer the driver 16 the pandemic hit and I could go visit then when I could I couldn’t touch him then they had court and it was on zoom and no one called to let me hear n see and I wasn’t there.. this hurts me… my heart brakes daily. my son has not had an easy time of it in prison. I would just like to drive out and see him a few times a year so he know he is not alone and the prison he is in now has visits that will allow me to hug him this is what I want most. he has never denied his part in the robberies and wants to serve his time better then locked in a caged room. He wants to be a better person for his son. my car has died and I can not afford to get another one. if anyone one here has a car that they don’t need and could make a few trips a year from Ohio to California I would be forever in their debt I could cook or clean as payment but that is all I have to offer. I just want to be able to see him even if it is just once a year. my daughter said she would drive with me. Right before they lifted the pandemic rules my car dies and in between then and now they have moved my son from prion to prison landing him in Cali and I can’t just fly to Cali n stay at a hotel, but if I had a car that could make the trips I can sleep in my car not a big deal for me I been homeless a few times my story is long and full of fun facts but I was never on drugs other then weed and mental meds not all at the same time. I maybe rambling but that is what I need and why I am asking I really don’t have money i work with 900 a month for rent n gas lights water n house hold stuff. I get 280 in stamps and this is what i live on. 600 a month rent 100 for gas 100 for lights 60 water 50 internet. my phone was giving to me from a friend and they take care of that bill and my daughter works part time and she pays for her things like food n clothes n rides to work things like that. so I will stop talking now and thank you for reading and helping. God bless.