*** I truly appreciate your time it takes to read this, and your consideration***
A little about me…
I am 36 and I live in a small town in Ontario, Canada. I am a girly girl at heart, I love to smile, and my friends describe me as passionate, sweet, caring, smart, fun, nurturing, funny, athletic, organized, and a perfectionist (just to name a few)!
I spend a lot of time with my family, who are all in my city. My parents are still married (38 years this year), I have a younger brother who is married (to one of my childhood friends), and they have 2 girls (5 and 2) who are the loves of my life. I am also “Auntie Jess” to my best friend’s 2 little guys (who are 9 and 6).
I have a caring heart and I am always doing so much for others, and tend to forget to take care of myself (which is something I am definitely working on). I give so much, because it feels so good to give, and never expect anything in return. I also live vicariously through them, as they have what I have dreamed about my entire life — spouses and kids.
I have a great career, a wonderful group of friends and the absolute best family who mean the world to me… I am truly blessed – but I am missing the most important pieces of my life.
A bit of my story…
I moved back ‘home’ to my small town in 2011, following a breakup (with someone who I was with for 5 years). Despite my family‘s concern of how limiting my city is (for work, and for meeting people), I knew my heart was always here, and took the leap of faith to move home.
I have scored my dream job, and am so grateful each day for that piece of my life working out and giving me such purpose and happiness.
My #1 goal in life is to be a wife and a mom. It always has been.
As fulfilling as my life is, unfortunately it has been very limiting to meet “the one”, and my life is incomplete. I am selective, and have decided I am waiting for the one, and not willing to settle
I just got home from a weekend away at my aunt and uncle’s for my cousin’s baby shower. My aunt (mom’s sister) is like a second mother to me, as well as a great therapist – haha – (because of her masters of social work, and her wealth of work and life experience) and I am forever thankful for her in my life. With my (much younger) cousin having a baby soon, of course we talked about me, and my path, and future.
I always pictured myself to be the first one out of my family and friends to get married and start having a family. So did my close friends. I wanted to be married by 25, and start having kids by the time I was 27. It has always been something that was “supposed to” come natural and easy to me. Even after ‘starting my life over’ at 27 by moving back home, I never pictured my life as what it is now:
Reality is, is that I am 36, with no potential husband in my sight. My family and friends (even much younger close family friends of ours) have gotten married and are now starting families, and my concern about getting older, with no potential, is really starting to weigh heavily on me.
After this weekend, I am seriously considering taking the steps towards becoming a mother, even if that means doing so on my own. Either that, or I now realize why I haven’t been blessed with meeting my man — I am not in the best financial place.
My dreams came to a sudden halt when reality hit again and I realized that I wouldn’t be able to afford the treatments/process, (for IVF with a donor, or adoption, or some other avenue) and I couldn’t afford to be off on maternity leave, because I wouldn’t be able to pay my debt with less income.
I do have the best family, and wouldn’t change them for the world, but unfortunately we are not well-off, and we don’t come from family money. My parents felt it was important for my mom to be a stay-at-home-mom/wife/homemaker, and I wouldn’t change that for the world, but with that came sacrifices. Don’t get me wrong … We never went without. But we weren’t ever a family with extra money.
I work hard, and even try to make money on the side, but I simply cannot get ahead.
Could you change my life and help me get in the right financial place for me to have the foundation to become a mother like I have always been meant to become?