So I have never done anything like this before, and I don’t have much confidence that it will happen, but there are surprises around every corner, right? Maybe even a few kind strangers who are able to help me finish my fresh start.
I am 25 and have recently been signed off work for the first time in my life, to begin intense Trauma Therapy. It was the beginning of my career path to become a Nurse, i was working full time as a Senior Health Care Assistant in a dementia care home for 4 years. In recent years my mental health has been declining, a couple of months ago I made a breakthrough with my psychologist and we realised that I am suffering with rather delayed PTSD from being involved in a paedophilia ring as a child, apparently some things can’t just be buried and forgotten about. At the time it happened nobody knew, i had no idea what was happening to me, and i was saved by my mother moving us away for unrelated reasons. Most of my relationships in my teens and early adulthood have since been unstable and abusive, likely because of my perception of ‘love’ being altered at such a delicate age.
From the day I finished school I have worked full time and paid my own way. In my late teens I began to deteriorate emotionally and was diagnosed with BPD, while this has always been challenging I managed to find full time work that suited me. at the age of 20 I became very impulsive with my behaviour and spending, a common trait for someone with my disorder. Over a few years I accumulated around £18,000 in debt, luckily the banks offered me a consolidation loan which made paying it off monthly quite manageable, but time and time again I slipped back into old habits trying to run from what I knew I would have to face. Now is that time. The therapy over the next period of my life will be tough, but i know how great i can be once I’m on the other side.
Now that I am out of work for the duration of this healing period I have no income apart from benefits, which understandably do not cover debt repayments. After going it alone for a few months I have just about run out of savings, meaning I can also no longer manage repayments. I have roughly £13,000 (including interest) left to pay then I will be free from my financial anchors, and hopefully soon my emotional ones too.
I do not by any means expect anything to come of this, but at the same time I’m kind of hoping somebody who has once been in a similar position has managed to beat the odds might see this and be able to help me move forward and be able to live a normal life.
Thank You for taking time to read my post, i hope in time everyone can get the help and support they deserve.
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