Hello, I have foolishly been working a dead-end retail job for 3 years as it is the only place within several miles of me that I am able to get to without a car because I live in the boonies. I’ve tried to make money through an online business and other methods but currently that isn’t doing jack and I’m still struggling to get that working while dealing with other things in life.
I am almost 25, and I have never had over $1300 in my bank account ever (even after taxes) because of bills, food, etc. Now that my job’s hours have been cut dramatically, I am forced to manage the small amount of money in my bank account while also looking for new ways to gain income both passively and actively. I have also suffered from major depression and lack of motivation to do anything with myself for somewhere around 7 years mainly due to financial problems which turns into an endless thought spiral of me never achieving anything or the aspirations that I create to keep motivating myself from just ending it all (I also thank the internet and being well versed in cognitive psychology for preventing that). Ever since my parents divorced when I was 11, we have lived just above the poverty line. I’d say I am very much more fortunate than many others’ stories I have read, and I am very grateful for that. But there isn’t a single day that I don’t feel like useless / scum because I can’t get my life together and because I don’t have a real direction to take it other than art & games (which feels more like an escape than anything).
The main reason why I am posting on this website is that I want to get a better hold on my life and help get myself out of this depression. I currently only have a driver’s permit and no car, so I can’t just go and get my license without a proper car, nor practice driving it to get that license. I am also worried about my parents’ declining health as I am an only child and they’re both over 60+.
Currently as of this post my bills are about $300 rent plus $150 or slightly less for food every month (I cook for myself and try to eat healthy which can get expensive). I also am trying to fund my small online business but sadly, that takes money for trying to market it, so that sits on the back burner for now.
I’d also like to mention that I have never had a doctor checkup in over 14 years because I don’t have health insurance. If I were to get incredibly sick or injured, I’d be screwed. I can’t afford health insurance and have little knowledge of getting it for free. Sadly, America’s medical system runs on greed. For example, I used to be under my parent’s health insurance until the insulin they required was too expensive to buy even under that. So they had to drop their health insurance in order to go to a local medical business that can give it for free after blood work. Although, that didn’t solve their health insurance problem and they don’t have it just like me.
So that’s about it.
I just want add to this a small list of goals I currently want to achieve in life after lots of thought:
- Buying a car to get a better job / get to places.
- Get health insurance and get a checkup / eye exam / dental work.
- Buy a new PC before cyber monday.
- Buy a better desk and drawing tablet so I can remodel my small room into a studio. This is so I can pursue art and try to make money online that way.
- Learn investing and safe stock investing (and have the capital to be able to do so).
- Move to Japan & learning Japanese. This is my #1 dream but I feel that unless I get financially stable, I won’t ever accomplish this.
(Any amount is appreciated, thank you!)