I was brought up in a loving family, didn’t have lots but plenty enough and I was well educated. I had/have 2 older brothers 9/10 years older so it was clear I was a mistake but no less loved by my parents than my other 2 brothers and growing up was fantastic. I excelled academically and went to Durham University where I got a good degree and then moved onto a graduate program with BP, and then subsequently a retail consultancy company called dunnhumby.
However 17 July 2014 my life changed forever, my parents were both on a flight from Amsterdam to Kuala Lumpar to start enjoying their retirement and the plane was shot out of the air, you have probably heard about flight 17, Malaysian Airlines.
My life essentially turned entirely upside at that moment, after losing my parents and I have been fighting a 5 year struggle of depression and suicidial thoughts as i subsequently lost my girlfriend who didn’t stick by me. My brothers won’t speak to me as they are very successful and had the advantage of age when my parents died, they were married with children. I was 22 and too young to register the horrendous nature of what happened.
I have no-one anymore and through my depression I have more recently lost my job. I am consumed by never ending fear of what my life will become if I continue on this path of destruction. I have no money left to my name so my worries are continuously about trying to pay rent and afford food to eat. For example I don’t receive state benefit for 2 weeks and I have £11 to my name.
This is all from a kid who seemingly had it all in 2013. I try to stay positive but it is hard. It is now 04:30am in the UK and I am still awake, typing this as I am forever fearful of the debt I have got myself into. The only thing that seems to help is going to therapy but I have now amassed thousands of pounds worth of debt on credit cards funding this. Just because it was starting to make a difference and help me.
Please, please can someone help me get back on my feet, clear my debts, ensure longevity of therapy, help build relationships. The money will also help me to pay rent in advance for the first time in months and also also aid me in my next employment path and desire to self sustain. I would be forever grateful and would of course pay it forward.
Thank you for reading.