not sure how to start, so just will do it.I have really big dream and purpose and actually I try it like from 18 teen, but professional like 5 years ago, now
on Christmas I will be 31.
So I always want more, not just like a work from 8 till 5 do and be where I don`t like. And I try poker, and from 18 years I understand that it`s skill
game. So at beginning I start read what I get, my English was very bad, at that moment so it was long process, but later I do process start read books about poker
and improve by little. So at this point I understand what I want from my life and I start do everything for it.
I was young with big dreams and poor. So after school 19 years old, from my country and mothers house, I go work to Netherlands, and agriculture work,
job was really bad, and I work hard, and my next few years was like this, I try first deposit to poker, of course lost everything and so on. When I get some
more brains, from 24 years old, I understand that need start make really seriously. Maybe 1 or 2, small try`s, nothing seriously, till 26th years old. Where
I move again work to Netherlands, had big plans, was very seriously, was ready for long time to work, savings, and comeback for my biggest chance for
poker. And I did it, and before 2 days my travel for me write on Facebook a girl. She was then 14 years old, and I 26. So she accidentally write me, that recognize
on my profile picture my friend, witch she “in love”, yes my friend my age, so I understand its stupid. So I just write something back, short, never try go to
discuss or something, on the second day she offer for me go to meet with her and bla bla bla… It was my last days, I think maybe never comeback to my country,
or after long time, and I saw that actually her need like some friendly help. She was really upset about the world, unhappy, actually she the inconvenience of your
cutting. I self always was very depressed, so good understand her feelings, start talking with her, wan`t to show that world can be really nice place, not always,
not always easy, we need everything, to get everything. So we start talk and could not stop, day after day, every hour, just wake up`ed, always when I`m not at
work, and we both very like it. And it was really extraordinary, also strange, also many different minds, like what I`m doing, she is just a girl, special
after like 2 months, when I self start recognize love feelings from me to her, and from her of course.
After 3 months in Netherlands I win so money from poker, about 5k in total, unexpected. So I could comeback much faster than I think and go for my dream.
Rent a flat, found poker coaches, they also stake me. With girl we start met, she start stay in my place after some time, poker study also goes good, I improve
everything looks easy, and on my way.
I always say, that if you try to rich something big or bigger than just a work, then the kids, family is like a break, and they stop you a lot. So
after few months we notice about baby, not big shock, cause I really love her, and never scared like parents or problems like this. And always think will do
everything to make them both happy, and give best life. And don`t forget what I promise in beginning that life can be nice. Actually just now remember it, and it`s
very sad… We live together now near to 5 years, we have a kid, 3 and a half year. And I`m 30, and she 18 at this moment. We marriage when she was 15, it`s
not normal we also, have to win court, and many things for our happiness.
So I finish my stake with coaches, try to play on my self, but did not have savings, because of understanding reasons. I was also few times, go to
Netherlands work, try to save my bankroll for poker, but all this is very hard. You can understand that all my family, we life only from my money, and
if I work, I cant save a lot, and comeback and make good start for my dream, for poker, for my family. And when I play its also hard, cause I start from to
small bankroll. And actually I`m tired, and now I`m again, on same way, where I have to move, but its so depressed for all of us, I forgot about my promises,
happiness, actually don`t believe in my self, of course not always, but when need move.
I want that you all understand thank I study very very much, I play so much tournaments every month, and I beat my limits, and I`m winning player,
but still I never had this good start, what a dream so much, for what I was living, and the worst thing is to move from my family, to Netherlands, cause its
again will be very hard, again very risky, with minimum bankroll, its hard to save, when I need pay rent for family, send for living, also rent in Netherlands,
for my self, and save, and travels and comeback. I never had simply holidays, or just that I could week, just sit at home with family and no worries about problems.
It`s just little of my story, for me its really humiliating to ask some help even my mother or friends, and if I do, they can`t… So write here is also
big challenge for me. But I always know about websites like this. So it looks better, than move again – its worst. Its also so hard to look at my wife, I know
she also wanna help with money for me dreams, and us. But she cant. And this feeling witch hit my head, that I never reach my goals, never get my chance, and
much much more…..
I I first time ask for some help, also not expect much, but I get atleast 1% more chance of my family fcccck it… I just write, I don`t care, what I
will lost. Its hard time personally for me. If no response soon I move work, will not give up, wake up again, and one day will reach my goals, we again will be
happy, just sad its not that moment, its far away at moment……
Thank you…. :(
I`m not asking for gambling, we live only from poker near to 5 years, so I`m like near to professional, but I can`t achieve it, also from this time and now this
moment where I have to go work, I work about 1.5 year in Netherlands, but this process looks endless, go work take very much and hurt time…