Hello to all my name is Mary morrow I’m 28 years old. I have one biological daughter who is 2 and 1/2 years old her name is Lydia. I also have three stepchildren Holly whom is 19 Sarah who will turn 16 3 days after Christmas and are one sweet boy Timothy who is 12. I’m sure there’s no lack of creativity on this blog but in my life experience I have found honesty brings the best results. So here it goes nothing keeping my story as honest and simple as possible I am a loving caring mother to all four children not just the one I gave birth to, but I’m suffering from addiction. I have been to rehabs I’ve been to meetings I’ve been clean and sober multiple times but as all addicts know it only takes one mistake to fall back into active addiction. When Lydia was born but I and my precious newborn tested positive for marijuana I did actively smoke marijuana my entire pregnancy and self-reported that drug use to my prenatal physician every appointment that I saw the baby doctor it was the only way I could hold down any food at all during my pregnancy. My physician advised me that in his personal opinion it was acceptable but by medical standards of his profession if at the time of birth the child test positive for marijuana DHS would immediately become involved. When I gave birth both me and my precious newborn tested positive for marijuana so in the great state of Arkansas in which I live we have a Garrett’s law which states any child born with any illegal substance and their system must go through the necessary measures to definitively prove the child would not be neglected or put in a harmful a situation in order to maintain custody well I did what I had to do I stopped smoking marijuana I got DHS out of our life or so I thought when Lydia was 6 and 1/2 months old DHS came over one evening around 7:30 p.m. to do a truancy call on the other children in my care I open my door welcome the caseworker inside knowing that my case was Lydia had already been closed. As the caseworker step through the threshold of my door she immediately States that there’s a strong odor coming from my residence she asked what it was and immediately admitted that the smell she was referring to was marijuana that my parents had just left a few minutes before she arrived and while my parents were at my house we smoked a joint so there was still an odor remaining inside that’s when the caseworker informed me that even though my case was Lydia had technically been closed for several months because she was born under a Garrett’s law case that the department of human services retains the right to reopen a case as they see fit within the first year of life and saying as my daughter was only six and a half months old she felt it necessary to not only reopen my case but remove the children from my care. My daughter was placed and I foster home within 24 hours the other children were taken and their biological mother was contacted to come and take possession of the children. So for a year and a half I did everything I noted to do everything they asked of me in order to gain custody back of my daughter and which I did January the 20th 2020 she was just over a year old at the time I was getting custody almost perfect the first words the first two but she kept every first that I so longed to see I was not there and it breaks my heart now she has separation anxiety from the experience she is attached to me from the time she opens her eyes everyday until we lay down to go to sleep each night. Somewhere along the road of recovery I slept and fell back into addiction this time instead of simply smoking a joint to calm down I found myself immersed in the presence of methamphetamines it pains me to admit this especially the strangers but I have been through treatment I’ve been down the road of recovery clean and sober so many times and still somehow find myself leading a life of addiction I don’t spend much money on the drug but only because I’m a beautiful very social woman and as any woman can vouch things simply or given to women in my position therefore by the grace of God I don’t spend the money my children need on the drug but being an addict does take a toll mentally physically and emotionally this year 2020 has been a roller coaster of ups and downs for everyone with this pandemic and the financial hardships everyone is facing how do I even begin to ask for money when so many others are trying and probably doing better than I but I am trying I do deserve a chance and even if I don’t deserve a chance if I don’t deserve someone to give to me my wonderful innocent children do they deserve everything that this life could give them even if I cannot which is why I’m breaking down and no longer staying silent and that is why I’m reaching out to strangers for financial help I just want to provide my babies even though some of them aren’t babies anymore they’re still my babies I just want to give them a Christmas that they will remember Christmas together full of all the little things in life that the wealthy take for granted it’s a little toys and trinkets and gifts that most wealthy individuals or upper class tax bracket families buy throughout the year is what I would like to be able to do one time a year for my babies Christmas is said to be the season of giving and I’m giving in and asking for help I know God hears me and he wakes me up every day knowing my full potential knowing the plan that he has made for me and all the bumps along every path that I will take it gives me hope knowing that the God above is with me through all of my triumphs and my defeats but I don’t want my children to have to pay the price for my downfall my contact information is email@example.com or via text or call phone number 501-520-1517 thank you all or to all him have stayed to read this pathetic request of mine that means a lot even if one person takes the time to read what I have written and it weighs on them enough to help God bless stay safe and healthy I pray for all those out there thank you and remember they do deserve to have gifts under their tree even if I don’t have a good day hopefully I’ll speak to someone on this matter if not I will still praise God everyday he wakes me up as I hope you all do.