So the Picture is of My son and His mother. My name is Ryan. By the title you can probably tell I came close to taking my life last week. And I’m still very on edge a reeling in pain. But the thought of leaving my son without a father has kept me from doing so. But my nights have been getting very dark and I’m scared I may give in. I’m going to try to make this as understandable as possible in allotted space. When I was 14 years old 43 percent of my body was burned in a car accident. Boiling water was in one of the vehicles transporting food to a parade. And a cauldron of boiling water hit me. I was in the hospital for 9 months. Where I underwent horrible surgeries and procedures. I was given an insane amount of pain medication. Even after my discharge as a minor I was given oxycontin. Long story short I got hooked on painkillers at a very young age. Which spiraled into a very painful addiction that I fought for almost 16 years. At 29 I finally found God and found the courage to get clean. I am now 34 years old. Amber the beautiful women In the picture and mother of our 6 year old son Noah has been my girlfriend and best friend for 10 years. Up until about 3 weeks ago. She never gave up on me. She fought so hard to help get me clean and truly is the only reason I was able to pull my life together. My love for them was the one thing stronger than any addiction. But she left me 3 weeks ago. And I can’t. And don’t want to live life without her. And the worst part is that it’s all avoidable. During my active addiction I did a lot of terrible things to get drugs and one of which was stealing over time over 200 thousand dollars from her immediate and extended family. They didn’t know I was using and I always had a good story or reason I needed money with promise to Pay it back. And never did. Which in turn made it where she could never bring me around anyone in her family. And as much as I wanted to just Apologize and show her family the man I’ve become they never wanted to hear. And she began becoming very ashamed. And sad. She wanted to have a man she could bring around her loved ones. And she could never bring me because I wouldn’t have been welcomed. I whole heartedly believe the only way I will be able to salvage my life and our relationship is to make financial amends with her family. The money I took caused real damage. And the remorse I feel and have felt for years for doing so i cannot put into words. This is kind of a last ditch effort. I feel ashamed even asking and also scared that this won’t work. Idk what else to do. I can’t and don’t want to live life without her. And my son. I was a part of his everyday life. And he loves me very much. But I have really God’s honest truth feel like throwing in the towel. And I feel like it may happen any night. Every time I try to close my eyes to sleep for 3 weeks now I just have racing thoughts and cry all night. They were and are my world. Please help me save my family and probably my life. thank you can email me ryanbarrett8719@gmail.com and I’ll give you my number. Or you can just PayPal. PayPal.Me/onemoretry87