A wish for my fresh start, and also so that I may pay it forward

To whomever this falls I thank you greatly for stopping, and may you have a blessed day.

My hope, dreams, and wishes is to finally be able to be out of debt. So that I may help others, and bring my visions to reality. As of right now I am in a hole that I can’t get out of, and it has been weighing drastically on me for almost a decade. Unfortunately I am out of options, and I don’t know what to do. That is why I am reaching out to you. I hate asking for help, because there are others that need it more. For I have been blessed with my life, and I couldn’t take it from those who need it.

Throughout my life I have always been the go-to for help, and I love helping people. I have always been great with managing, and budgeting. Though a small crack that was missed, and other events that transpired in a short period would say otherwise. From my years of helping people, being taken advantage of, saving people, and supporting people, it finally caught up to me. In the beginning I was able to support all that with budgets flawlessly, but when I started a new chapter in my life I failed to factor in a hidden monetary loss. I realized that too late, and I was already deep in a sinking hole. Of which I have been trying to get out since then with no luck. I have tried over the years to fix it, but it kept getting deeper. I been trying to save myself, but it didn’t’ help that I was also given bad advice that hurt my credit drastically. So there went a type of help. I have tried looking into other help, but unfortunately I don’t fit any of the requirements. I make too much, I have no kids, single, among countless other things/criteria. Even though I support others from the shadows, I can’t do anything.

Do I regret it. No. Would I go back in time, and not help. No. That not who I am. Everything happens for a reason, and I wouldn’t have been able to help those closest to me in their most dire times of their lives. I also wouldn’t have been closest to my family when I was needed the most.

Unfortunately my struggle has weighed on me, and has effected my ambitions. I have these visions of businesses that I want to bring to reality that could be self sufficient. I don’t wish to make profit from them, but in theory they would also help nourish, and entertain the community. Also I have one big project business that would be practically self sufficient that mostly all proceeds would be able to help and give back to animal shelters. I have this knack of creating things down to minute details, and envisioning different things. But I lack in the execution part, mostly from not having the funds. I also have these universes in my mind that I want to release to the world. Unfortunately being part of the rut I have lost my ambition to write and bring them to outside. So it saddens me greatly when I am unable, and I feel defeated as I am being held back for what I can give back to his world. It also pains me too, because as those close to me are having a hard time too, I can’t help them. So it hurts me more seeing others struggle, and I have no ways to help them.

So if I am able to reach my goals, I will try to update along the ways of all the stuff I was able to accomplish with all you amazing people. Below is break down of donations checkpoint if reached, and I am by no means not expecting anything. I am beyond grateful you took the time to read a glimpse of my full story, and even beyond words if you leave a dollar.

This may change over time, especially with the student loans, but this is roughly the idea for check points;

*I have 4 younger siblings, a niece and a nephew that I plan to make college/university accounts for.

**Those people are the ones that have help me greatly throughout my life one way or another. They are the ones that if I ever came into with a large amount of money, or made over time, I would repay them by clearing their debt.

I don’t want to keep the fundraiser up that long, because I am not selfish, and wish to share. So I thank you guys in advance for all that you do. There are no words worthy to explain how I truly feel. I thank you beyond my heart, and may blessings reach you every day!!

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