Hello anyone that reads this my name is Omar. I grew up in poverty it was a pretty crazy way that I grew up I grew up in an abusive household seeing my step father beat my mom from day to day and she was so defenseless just taking the beatings to one night it turned into a gun shot in the night because my moms husband came home hallucinating thinking it was demons in the house because I decided to sleep in the living room to be able to protect my mother from him around the age of 5 we had to run away from him countless amount of times and he found us every time and when he did he would beat my mother to the point at the age of 7 I was traumatized instantly and I ran outside screaming for help crying i ran and then i ran back inside to help my mom fight him off but I was so scared and it was over he had beat her til she was bleeding from the face and I was and still to this day am traumatized because of it I’ve never received therapy because of it and I feel like I really need it as I got older I found self medicating was a helpful solution to me and I ended up kicking the habit on my own but my very goal has been to become rich so that my mom doesnt have to work and stress because all her life as I’ve known and defended my mother she has high blood pressure and I get scared for her I just want her to have peace be happy and have all that she wants today I’m 25 years old I am in debt for at least 3500 to 4500 or more in student loans 600 in cash advance loans 25,000 in hospital Bill’s and my mom has around 5000 in credit card debts i help her care for my 8 year old brother and 4 year old sister who’s father is alive and well but he is a leech who only takes and doesnt contribute to our family I don’t even think he consider us family just free food and a check for the kids he doesn’t take care of or provide for he has disrespected and tried to put my mom down countless amount of times and now is living with another woman and doesnt show up for months at a time me and my mom made a pact to go to college together and graduate he told my mom she couldnt do it he told my mom she couldnt run a business he told my mom shes a cheater hes made my mother cry and it’s against her will if I harm him so hes under her protection even though hes done so much to harm her emotionally and. mentally and I’ve been here to support her as her son who is now 25 that’s been by her side all of my life through ups and downs at 5 I told her the only way someone would take her away from me or me away from her is them having to kill me I love my mom with all of my heart and soul and I would give my life just to see her happy forever or to live great forever financially mentally and physically for her and these kids to live great I would give my heart my soul my life just to have it happen if I could and every day I’m looking for that opportunity to do that for them my biological father died when I was just 9 i was just getting to know him he had schizophrenia and he was in a ward for years before i got too and i was happy with him but i was always a mommas boy around that time i was being molested by a man a teenaged girl and her friends I’m related to her and i never knew how to tell anyone i still dont it’s made me think so less of myself its driven me to the point of not wanting to live at times first time i ever put a knife to my throat and tried to cut it open with a kitchen knife I was 10 and my father died shortly after i got to meet him so it didnt help me but his dying wish and words was to protect my mother and i cried myself to sleep the night of hearing the confirmation of his passing from my mother she told me it was complete silence and the moment she walked away everything became dark very fast and i screamed out crying loudly until i passed out and my dreams haunted me every day and night for many years i was fighting in my sleep punching the floor screaming i was laughing in my sleep at times i was having nightmares almost all the time i needed to be held and i for the most part never received it but for comfort i slept in my moms bed aside her to not feel alone because i needed it i was still being molested when she needed me to be watched by my grandmother so she could go to work and come and get me but she tried her hardest to protect me but she couldn’t protect me from what she didnt know was going on because I didnt know how to tell her and as a grown man I still dont know how to tell her but sometimes I feel as if she knows but I still just want to make their lives livable and enjoyable I have no job at the age of 20 sciatica I suffered from it working as a maintenance man for McDonalds and they didnt want to give me workers comp and me being scared and naive with no guidance I missed an opportunity to sue them and also go to the doctor to receive proper care for myself so every night I go to sleep I find my nights sleepless because I feel like a big cockroach water bug that has been stepped on but I’m still alive the pain is so unbearable sometimes it makes me want to die just to stop the pain and I cant just kill myself because my mom and these kids need me and I need them so I fight through this pain that has haunted me for years all that with a broken heart from every lover I ever had just leaving me abruptly facing withdrawals from love I kinda grew numb to it it still hurts when I think I found someone and they end up like the rest and I get told I’m young theres still time cause I find myself not believing it I do my best to get closer to get everyday I beg and plead to him to make all of my pain stop but I still feel it and its difficult to me I dont know how I made it this far this long with all of this weight on my shoulders the hospitals never fixed my problems but they always charged me thousands for xrays and mris the day I came home with sciatica at the age of 20 I stumbled in the house and became dizzy after knowing my day of work is over I look at my grandma and then I collapse and faint only to have her drag me from the front door to her bedroom and onto her bed and when I awoke my body was on fire from the inside to the point it brought tears to my eyes with how unbearable the pain was they stuck a needle in my back and gave me pills for a day and sent me home dizzy and I went to sleep and woke up to my mom trying to treat me with chiropractic devices that helped somewhat but only temporarily causing my body to jerk with each electrical shock it sent through my body to fight the pain I adopted a habit of drugs which I wish I didnt but it was addictive to feel normal and not feel the pain but not have a doctor so treating myself as my own doctor until I couldn’t anymore it was all scary and nobody knowing what’s wrong with me while I was suffering withdrawals from my addictions that made my pain worse and I knew I had to stop but it was hard and took alot of work and still to this day I suffer from my pain but I need help because I just cant seem to pull myself out and get my family where they deserve to be after being lost for so long and finally freeing myself from the imprisonment of drugs I just wish I did better earlier but this is the story of my life and why I need any help I can get this is my cashapp $Zeke973NJToFL
But at 25 I take care of my mom her mom and her dad he has dementia so it’s difficult with him and my 4 year old sister and 8 year old brother who’s dad is a dead beat leech