Hello, my name is Kira
I am 18-years-old. I am typing this today because I really need help in moving to another country and starting a new life and get distance from certain individuals. I live in my mom’s house which on many days I find difficult. My biological family members are not people I get along with. My mom has never had a great presence in my life and has never tried to be there for me. I have an adult sister who has a history of abusing me as a child and acts very controlling and authoritarian with me up to now. In the past last two or so years she has put her hands on me twice. I am still slightly shaken from those incidents and I really can’t stand her presence. She is one of the major reasons why I have anxiety and often feel depression. My father is another person who is problematic in my life as he is most of the time rude or harshly critically of me and makes me feel terrible mentally and emotionally. He also has on a few occasions, including most recently this year, gone on intense cursing tirades targeted towards me. He often drowns out anything I have to say and makes me feel that I can’t say what I have to say because I won’t be listened to or understood. This is something that’s also kind of a problem with my sister and mom on certain occasions as well. I really don’t feel like any of them love or care about me based on their actions over the years. I really have a hard time living with them on a daily basis as it makes me feel deeply miserable and depressed. This feeling stretches through my neighborhood, school life, and just life generally in America. I don’t always feel safe in my neighborhood because of my neighbors next door who sometimes have problems that make me afraid of violence that could affect me. My school life is really bad as I can hardly bare it. I have a hard time trying to keep up with my grades for classes that I’m stuck in and really irritate me and assignments I have a hard time doing daily. I am still trying to get a job, but I really don’t want to spend the rest of my life working in the US because I feel like America is too problematic. I have never felt like I belonged in this country being one of the many minority groups here that has on occasion struggled with American society. I don’t have any goals that I want to pursue for the long term in the US. Everyone around me wants me to stay here and not try to go anywhere else which I find dispiriting. This idea makes me feel more depressed and anxious everyday and sometimes my thoughts go down a really dark place all because of my current life circumstances. My present life is the biggest problem of all because I have no other way to try to improve it in a step by step way. I would like to ask for money to help me move out of my mom’s house and out of the US. I don’t think I would be able to acquire a certain amount of money from jobs by myself. I can’t give an exact amount of money that I need but from what I looked up traveling, finding a place to live, buy clothes, and get food can be really expensive in a foreign country (I would like to move somewhere in Europe.) I would also like to try to get citizenship eventually as well in that country which I think might be more expensive. I think the money ranges somewhere in the thousands. If I received this money I would make the plans to find a place to live in the country and maybe find a suitable job to take care of myself when I get there. It would also benefit me the most to just have distance away from my family and finally be independent and have a more pleasant mental and emotional state while experiencing another culture and probably feel safer in a better environment. I’m not really good with hyper linking but I tried to put one at the end of this post. If someone took the time to read thank you so much! And if you consider helping me thank you from the bottom of my heart in advance.