PLEASE HELP!
Hi. My name is Patrecia, but my friends call me Tree. I am 33 years old and currently reside in the Lonestar state of Texas. A long time ago I would have never saw myself living here. I was born and raised in south Florida. Somewhat of a city girl. This is going to be a long story, so I apologize from the start, but you need to know everything to understand my position.
My parents divorced when I was young, so most of my summers were spent with my mother, while the school years were with my father. When I was 12 I moved to PA to live with my mom, so the roles reversed for my parents. And although my mom lived in a small town, the city wasn’t far away. Anyways, by the age of 14 I was getting interested in boys and started dating.
My first real relationship came at 15 in the form of a summer romance. His name was Daniel. That was the first time I felt what I thought was love. When I returned to PA for my school year we lost touch. I eventually gained a few other “love” interests and moved on.
It was September of 2003 that I met Dex while volunteering at a local haunted house called Gravestone Manor. We quickly grew extremely fond of one another and became nearly inseparable. Although we went to different schools, we discovered that we lived within a rocks throw from one another and that only kept us closer.
We were each others firsts. And when my mother found out she was livid. There was already a strained relationship between my mother and I at the time and her abuse led to me ultimately making the decision to move back in with my father in FL at 16 years old. This meant leaving Dex behind in PA and we were both eager to try and make long distance work.
When I arrived back in FL things went as planned at first. I had planned on going back to my mom’s for the summer and picking up where Dex and I had left off. We constantly talked online and on the phone and expressed how deeply we missed one another. I was heartbroken that we couldn’t be together in person. We even talked about the possibility of visiting each other on spring break.
Then it happened. I ran back into Daniel. He explained that certain events after I had left led to him losing my contact information and that he’d been waiting for me to return for the summer to profess his love to me. I made the dumbest decision of my life within those next few weeks. I broke things off with Dex and pursued my previous summer romance with Daniel.
My relationship with Daniel was full of red flags from the start, but I was so young and naive that I continued to put my all into making it work. He was manipulative, controlling, jealous, and abusive physically and mentally. This went on for 7 years and as the time went on, things only got worse between us. I was put down, accused of cheating constantly, choked, raped, and he threatened to end my life if I ever tried to leave.
Through everything I was put through, Dex was there to listen to me. Months would go by without any word from him and he would message me at the darkest times in my life and lift my spirits. But every time we talked he expressed that he would always love me, and because I felt guilty for leaving him for Daniel, I could never understand why. We had both engaged ourselves in other relationships so I pushed the chance of us being together again into the back of my mind…. But Dex never gave up.
By 2009 I had given birth to my 3rd child with Daniel due to him forcing raping me. I was forced into having my tubes tied. I couldn’t take the chance of getting pregnant again. Doctors said my body needed time to heal, and I knew that Daniel would go right back to his same patterns of abuse the moment we were home.
He couldn’t hold a job so I was left to support us and 3 small children, leaving Daniel at home to play Mr. Mom which was an even bigger disaster. When we lived with someone else, he had no choice but to make sure our children were cared for because other people were watching. Once we were in our own place, he started to neglect our children. This was a continuing trend with him for years and I had tried to leave after the birth of our 2nd child, but was threatened and forced into staying with him. By 2010 I was done.
With the support of my parents and a few close friends I ended things. I had my mother come and get my children and take them to FL for a “vacation”, filed for a Domestic Protective Order and had Daniel removed from our place of residence, and started saving money to get to me to my kids.
For the next 7 years I struggled to get my life back on track. There was a significant amount of damage to my credit from student loans since Daniel forced me out of college and spent all our money so I couldn’t pay bills, I had absolutely no self esteem, and I had thrown myself into yet another rocky relationship with a person who turned out to be a drug addict. Again, Dex remained in the background. Listening and being the best friend he possibly could in the hopes I would return to his side.
Thirteen years….. We were apart for 13 years by the time I realized that I still loved Dex and had never really moved on. I was at the lowest point I had ever been in my life and he was there ready to listen and offer solutions again. My mom kicked me out with nowhere to go and threatened to call CPS if I tried to take my kids, I had no car which led me to lose my job, and I was ready to give up on life entirely. It was then that I took a total leap of faith.
Dex had moved to Texas at some point in the 13 years we continued to remain friends. When the opportunity arose I jumped at it. He sent me money for a bus ticket, I sat at a gas station for 12 hours waiting for the bus to arrive, took an almost 36 hour trip, sat at another gas station for another 6 hours, got picked up by Dex’s friend that I had just recently met, and rode another 45 minutes to the place my life would completely change.
Fast forward almost 4 years and Dex and I are strong as ever. Our bills are paid every month, we can afford to eat and live comfortably, and there’s been talk of us getting married. My credit is finally clear of debt and we actually have about 3 grand put back towards getting a vehicle and insurance. However, after marriage in most relationships, generally comes a family.
Although I am regularly in contact with my children, they ultimately decided that they didn’t want to move to TX and are continuing to reside with my mother in Florida. My mom and I have a great relationship now and we work together to make sure that my kids get the best of everything, although I do miss them dearly. I want them to be successful in life and I believe that success comes with happiness, so if living in FL makes them happy, I would never take that from them even if it means sacrificing my own happiness. In the end though, I’m unable to give Dex the family he desires.
This brings me to the source of this entire story…. Because I was forced into having my tubes tied at 23, I wasn’t left the option to start a family with anyone else. Daniel took that from me, yet he has gone on to have 4 more children with another woman. Dex has met and accepted my children as his own, but there is still an emptiness in our home. Even if we’re only able to bring one child into this world together, it would fill a void that we’ve both been aching to fill.
Unfortunately, a reverse tubal is extremely expensive, and although I plan to contribute as much as possible to making this happen, I really wish we had some help. Aside from working full time, I’ve been doing everything from online surveys to reviewing products online just to try and make any extra cash at all. I want to be able to give Dex the family he’s always wanted, and I want to be able to experience motherhood in a loving and stable relationship.
So please… If you can find it in your heart to offer help for a second chance at happiness it would mean the absolute world to us both. Even spare change is greatly appreciated more than you will ever know. We’re undeniably in love and I cant think of anyone else I would rather give myself to this completely. Help us start our family and our new adventure together.
Thank You So Much For Anything You Can Afford To Give,
Sincerely,
Patrecia a.k.a. Tree