He is a 37 year old wheelchair user. OH, and do I love him more than anything! 🥰🥰
At the age of 30 he lost his mother to severe health issues. He was by her side everyday for his whole life. Time is precious and he knew that at a young age.
One morning.. three or so months after his awful loss.. he woke up and was unable to move, paralyzed. Panicked, he yells to his 70 year old step father and asks for him to call 911. The police arrive first.. immediately assume he’s on drugs. He was not. But they were just doing their job. Eventually making it to the ED.. many tests, scans and hours later.. it’s discovered that he had a large tumor on his spine, and it ran out of room. It ruptured. causing spinal cord damage. He needed surgery as soon as possible. A kind and confident neurosurgeon removed the remnants. The risks were high. But with his strong faith he pulled through and woke up to the smiling doctor. He was going to be okay! His life may never be the same. Lots of rehabilitation needed, and care givers to assist with certain ADLs. Some loss of feeling and strength. Luckily he had his step father willing to assist him. He did well for a while, worked hard and progressed. Until one day when hewas a little to unsteady with his cane. He fell. He broke his neck. So, back to rehabilitation. He did it once, he can do it again. And he did. He lost a little more mobility and upgraded from a cane to a walker. After c02 tests, discovered the left side of his diaphragm is paralyzed. He now needs a bipap machine at night, anytime he is flat. But he’s a live! God is good. Not too long after, his step dad has a stroke and ends up in the hospital. Luckily he has a few good people that check up on him, stock his fridge, empty his urinal, wipe his bum and make sure things he may need are in reach as he does not have the best mobility. Even food delivery drivers are kind enough to set up his table for a extra tip. There was the occasional fall, or accident. The local emergency crew are always willing to help with a lift assist! Thankfully his step dad pulls through! He Comes home! Life starts to go back to normal. Till one day when he is on an outing with a friend. He had to pee real bad. He was stubborn and didn’t want to accept assistance from this friend because she’s like a mother. He rushes to the rest room and falls head first over his walker. His throat hits the bathtub. He breaks his neck a second time. It was so awful, he thought this was it for sure. His head hurt so bad. He can’t move. Ends back in a rehab facility surrounded by confused elderly people. He’s 33 at this point. Now he goes from a walker to an electric wheel chair. Partially paralyzed in all 4 extremities. Not much sense of touch. He Pretty much had accepted the loss of any independence at this point.
I see him, leaving the physical therapy gym heading back to his room. I smile at him. Gosh he is so handsome. But I’m a CNA. This is not right.
He works hard and makes it home again. Now he’s using wheels instead of legs. Needs assistance to do anything. Step dad is about to turn 74 at this point, still caring for him but he’s getting tired. One day I see him on facebook, I send him a request. We start liking each other’s posts.. communicating via comments and eventually exchanging numbers and texting every day. It didn’t take long for him to invite me over. I parked next to the side walk and texted him that I was there. I start walking toward his apartment and I see him rolling towards me. I’m nothing but smiles. It was love at first site. From that day forward we are inseparable. I’ve always been an independent, hard working young woman. Him and I have now been together for 5 years. I’ve spent the last 5 years working full time and caring for him. He is 6 foot one, 260 lbs. I transfer him from and to bed/wheelchair daily. He can walk a little with help and a walker. We do morning hygiene, get dressed, have breakfast. I prepare all meals, do all of our house hold chores, care for our doggos (fur babies)we will never have our own children. I completely changed my life to be with him. Since we have been together I’ve upgraded from a Toyota Corolla, to a RAV4, to a mortified sienna. It’s $52,000! Luckily we got a loan from a low interest charity. Our monthly payment for our van is over $700. It’s absolutely worth it, as now I’m able to get him to appointments with doctors, PT, grocery’s and errands. It gives us opportunities to try adventures like camping. I absolutely love improving his quality of life and helping to give him the best possible life. We live with family because it’s all I can afford. I’m tired. It’s exhausting caring for yourself, your disabled partner and working full time. I want nothing more than to be able to give him all my focus and make his life as joyous and easy as possible, he deserves it. I want him to be my full time responsibility. He is the love of my life. I would do anything for him. I’m asking for help paying our bills, or more specifically our wheelchair van. What I’m asking for, or hoping to eventually get to is $52,000 to pay off our van. I’m also looking for help buying this two seater all terrain wheelchair so we can finally enjoy a beach day together. It costs $10,000. Accommodations for us to live and enjoy normal things together are expensive. I appreciate you so much taking the time to even read this and consider helping. Some day I hope to be able to get us into a house that accommodates our needs. It’s my dream to be able to give him everything he needs with out it seeming so far out of reach. He would do anything for the people he loves. He deserves to have the things that make his life a tiny bit easier. You’d be surprised how hard it is as an inter-abled couple living in a world not built for wheelchair users. We make the best of it. Our life is wonderful because we have each other. But he deserves so much more. I hope I can give him everything and more someday. I’ve never met such a loving, selfless, kind man. He makes me feel like a princess. Thank you for your time.