I am unsure how I manage to raise 3 kids everyday with no help, empty pockets, a broken heart and one down set after another. Many days I take a few seconds to myself and question this daily struggle…?… all the work and effort that usually never pays off- I’m 33 and for 13 years I have dedicated all of me to my tiny people. They save me from myself daily… my goal is to always let them know they are so loved… I may not be able to give them everything and sometimes we go without… but I give my all. My mental and soon my physical health suffer greatly. I defeat depression daily and anxiety consumes me- I don’t sleep much- 33 with blood pressure so high that my heart should have given out- (260/142) so pressure sos on me- I’m struggling to provide for my kids. My oldest turns 14 this month! Starts high school amber plays select league baseball! He deserves this. Stays out of trouble and brings me so much joy. He was so blessed by his coach- we didn’t go for next seasons try ours because the cost is 1300 and I can’t swing that- but his coach told him to keep coming- he’s staying on the team- financial will be taken care of. Which is amazing- I just need to come up with new gear. He plays 3 rd base and catcher- my middle man plays tackle football- all gear included thankfully. And my littlest the only girl starts school this year. I did my best to make sure my kids get to have their one special thing that’s just theirs… I don’t get help from their dad… they have no grandparents… and sadly the one sister I do have is lost in her addiction. So it’s all on me… I’m unsure of what else to do because what I bring home is never enough for what everyone needs. I lost my car about 4 months ago when my ball joints broke for the third time- but I manage to get these boys to practice- get the girl her playtime… I believe this gives them something productive to look forward to and Keeps them active and out of trouble. School is about to begin and I have last years clothes- which hardly fit… a birthday coming up the 27th. And nothing left to give. I’m losing hope, my kids deserve better. I’m too busy trying to make life work. To earn enough money. That I don’t Tanner the last time I sat with these kids and really enjoyed life. My failure is not their fault and they ultimately suffer. I just need a little bit of a break.
@janetak