I’m 25 and struggling with my mental health issues and minor drug/drink issues, I lost my job due to depression and anxiety, I feel like I’m losing touch with reality, my mum has a condition called Fibromyalgia that will eventually render her immobile, and she’s already pretty bad at the moment, she also has mental health disorders and issues stemming from childhood that make her a tough person to talk to at times, she struggles to help herself, yet she loves helping others, sometimes she’s in bed for up to 16 hours a day, which isn’t healthy at all but I know she’s depressed and lonely. She’s pushing away all her friends.
I’ve been an asshole to her, and I can’t seem to help it or make a change in my own behaviour. I want to help her, but I know there’s not much I could do, and it frustrates the hell out of me, I still live with her and some of my siblings, it feels like I am trapped here, endlessly, I don’t even want to feel trapped, but I do, because of the mindboggling arguments we have over the stupidest things at times. If I had the money, we would move to Spain, where it’s warmer and her condition would not be as greatly affected by the weather, she’s talked about Spain a lot.
I’ve tried going to doctors, and I am filled with mistrust, not only in doctors but also in therapists and my own family. I can’t even talk to people in general at all very well at the moment. Any conversation I initiate or anyone initiates with me, comes to a dead stop. I don’t know what to do, as I feel like I don’t even want to do anything anymore. Not die or live, I am stuck in this void in an emotionless state, forever to be an observer.
Before I lost my job, I started investing in some Cryptocurrency, mainly Ripple’s XRP, I really hope one day it will help me and my family out and hopefully we could move to Spain, but I don’t think I have enough to make a real difference to their lives, I also don’t know if it will even pay off anyway, as is the way with speculating.
Thank you for reading this, I just needed a little vent, anything that would help my situation would be greatly appreciated.