I wish I had a story that was anything but normal. I don’t. I’m a walking cliche of the fact that bad things happen to good people. I’m a 41 yr old woman. I have three amazing kids. My first contact with grief was the loss of my mother in 2015. I spiraled into a dark place. Left my husband for a guy that took advantage of a vulnerable woman whose husband told her she was grieving wrong and to get over it. Crippled from the emptiness I made a list of bad decisions with good intentions. Moved in with my father, started an affair with meth and lost my kids. Family intervention woke me up, I got my kids back and was learning to deal with my grief when tragedy struck again. Just a week after my birthday my father had a major heart attack and died. Now I have no job no income and no one to help be ause the husband I left did his on downward spiral and was in jail. Just in time a ray of hope in the form of inheritance money came along. I was able to breathe for a couple of months until a tornado struck forcing me to move out of my child hood home that was paid for and move into the first place available for rent. Here comes the real world single mom three kids has been a stay-at-home mom for the past 10 years now has to get a job to pay rent and bills and support her children which turns out to be nearly impossible find job get fired from job have to move out because of an eviction on my son’s birthday they get scattered to family members and I live out of my truck finally husband gets out of jail brings us all back together move out of town new faces new start wound up getting screwed right off the bat but it’s the same time and opportunity opens we’re able to start our own business with a partner a phenomenal of the business happens in the first year it grows increasingly large and we actually make money life’s looking up looking great partner gets greedy decides he wants to split and go on his own and make all the money we get cheated out of everything we lose everything and this time I guess it’s got to be karma from previous stuff because honestly we did nothing that I can think of to deserve what started happening to us our relationship falls apart we’re in debt 500,000 my husband goes in a depression I’m working constantly full-time and then doing side jobs for money. Meanwhile back in my hometown my niece/sister / best friend in the whole entire world gets diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer but with the fact that I was having to work all the time to help keep the supported and the fact that in the back of my mind I really didn’t want to see her and the condition that she was in I lost out on some time and on my birthday she was taken away the grief that I felt with my mother and my father was understandable it was a part of life I knew that I was coming but I was supposed to grow old and have a bunch of cats with her she was the one person in this world that knew me truly knew me she had been in my life for all but three years of it and now she’s gone and with the loss of the business which inevitably is taken everything or vehicles my marriage I haven’t been at work properly grieve and I don’t even know if I know how and I haven’t got depressed and anxiety my husband had to take a job hot shot and so he’s never home he’s out of town trying to make the money to keep us aboard and and I’ve tried to help with it as best I can but I’m more than less just dug us in a deeper hole. If I could just win the lottery I don’t even have to be major lottery $5,000 that’s all I would need but I just can’t every time I turn a corner there’s just there’s late fees there’s bills there’s more unexpected bills there’s three children in high school. There’s no Mom and Dad to help anymore because now I’m the mom and dad that’s supposed to help I’m not a bad person I made mistakes and I know that God is never going to give you anything too hard that you can’t handle and I don’t believe in him handouts I’m leaving earning what you get but I have also discovered that sometimes just a little Mercy couldn’t hurt. So there’s the events in my life that has led me to typing it all down and crying on the couch right now depending on the kindness of strangers that just have too much money to trust in the words that I’m telling you that I Will rise above it again how I don’t know hopefully somebody will help and then maybe when I can get my head above water I find myself in the position to pay it forward and help somebody else. My father was an amazing man and there’s a story I can tell when I was a kid of a situation that happened is always stood out of my mind I was young girl sitting in the car with my mom at the gas station while my dad pumped the gas and I watched a homeless man come up to my dad and talk to him and my father reached his pocket and pulled out all the change he had into it and gave it to the Man I heard my mom up front side but my daddy got back in the car and my mama looked at him and said you know he’s just going to go by alcohol with that my daddy turned at her look at her and said maybe so maybe he does maybe he doesn’t but that’s not concern of mine I’ve done my part his next move is between him and God. that has always stuck in my head you know because there are general good people out there that just have bad luck and need a little bit of help and then there’s the ones that deceive and try to steal your humanity. For what it’s worth I believe we need to restore the humanity and I’m unfortunate to be seeing that from both ends. To those if any that decide to help I appreciate it more than you can ever imagine and God bless.
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