If you are able to help it would mean a great deal to me.
Life has been much harder on others I realize but when I saw this web site I decided to take a deep breath and ask. It’s hard to ask. I have been taught it is wrong to do. I am trying to be realistic about my future and how the state of my finances will effect mine and my husband’s future.
I am currently working, and I am also trying to battle Fibromyalgia with PTSD.
Again, I realize I am fortunate in many ways, and more so than so many others.
I went back to school later in life. I left home at age 17 and became a lounge singer. It was a time when there were live bands at most hotel lounges. We worked hard, 5 hours a night, 6 nights a week, and often traveling to the next gig on Sundays.
It was a fun time, I traveled a lot, but it really was work. We often got only 2 weeks off a year.
I show nothing for social security for many of those years because the customer was the agent cut a check to the leader of the group, they cashed it and we all got paid in cash. Thus, my social security at max will be 1,500.00.
I got out of the business at age 31. I had no idea what to do work wise, had never had an apartment much less a bank account. At that time (1986 or so) the term PTSD was not really heard of and I didn’t talk much about the deep emotional, physical, sexual, and financial abuse I had suffered.
I worked at many positions for several years, cleaning houses and some commercial businesses, a nanny, a secretary, salesmen, and bartender.
I went back to school at age 38 and became an RN at age 42.
I worked in surgery for 12-14 years. I worked as a home health care marketer, admissions nurse, case manager, patient advocate, and now work at a computer. My computer nursing work has included Utilization Review, Appeals, and currently education, compliance, access, and adherence.
These last jobs have been challenges in a way I never expected.
I never thought all that I had experienced in my personal life would translate to the effects I now feel.
I have great difficulty concentrating, noise is horrible (other people talking), my body has pain throughout and though I am working with my doctor to manage all this I believe it is only getting worse.
Working 45-50 hours a week does not leave much time for counseling. It does not leave time for just healing… being in nature.
I wish I had more fight left in me. I would fight to make insurance companies to all cover massage therapy. The healing touch is something that is GREATLY undervalued in my opinion.
Finally I have a husband who, though he has his own demons to fight, is always as good to me as he can be.
I am going on 65, he is 77. We met late in life and are doing now what most people in their 30’s do, such as buying a home. It is very modest. We keep it up, and we keep it clean. We are not frivolous with our money, but we are human and want to be able to go out once in a while.
My husband’s health is good and he works part time. I can’t help thinking though… he is still 77!
I cant and don’t want to imagine life without him.
I am broken but trying to mend. I am full of love but am human in my fears.
If you can help, please do. Thank you. I sincerely pray you will be abundantly blessed. You would certainly be a blessing to me.