365 days ago I had all I needed in this world. I had a modest job that barely paid my even more modest bills, a small but comfortable apartment, a daughter whom I cherished, an old SUV to transport us, food in my belly, and a well used recliner with a spot at my feet for my little aging dog to lay as we quietly kept each other company.
I never knew how much could change so quickly. I never knew how deeply a person could break. I never knew the true meaning of “be careful what you wish for” until December 4th 2019 introduced me to these things.
I honestly thought I was safe in wishing for love again. Divorced for 6 years I knew I was definitely pickier about who I let into my life. Looking back… I wish I hadn’t had let anyone into my life at all. All it took was 1 date. 1 perfect date for me to be fooled and the avalanche to start. An avalanche that buried me alive and suffocated all of the things that made me a person right out of me.
My job, my home, my daughter, all of my worldy possessions, even sentimental belongings and heirlooms gone! He made me believe he loved me. Worse yet, he made me love who I believed he was. I believed him when he convinced me to invest in him. I believed him when he said he would take care of us.
By June I was homeless and had no choice but to stick with him hoping against hope he would do ANYTHING to help the situation. I don’t have a family to speak of and the few friends I did have were the “easy come easy go” type that only want to be around when they wanted something I could give. Any time I would find a solution or get close to getting back up on my feet he would sabatage it.
He would get us kicked out of whatever couch we were crashing on putting us in the road again. Or he would make sure not to get/keep the job opportunity I lined up for him. Or he would just randomly go into a fit of fury making sure I knew that he could leave any time and leave me completely stranded. Which he did do several times. He has been making very specific efforts to make sure to treat me like a beast instead of a woman.
He started denying me basic human rights like proper hygiene and kicking me out of where he finds for us to stay with no money and no gas so I have to sleep outside in the snow. He responds with insults if he responds at all. He makes sure to humiliate me on social media by advertising his cheating and seeking out local girls.
Now we are at his brother’s house and he’s trying to find any way he can to get himself thrown in jail while bringing me with him. I’ve never been in any legal trouble and don’t plan on it, but I’m afraid that if I don’t get away soon he will find a way to put my name on his illegal activities. There are currently 3 job openings within a 30 mile radius, all minimum wage, and none of which have called me back yet.
The only 2 things I managed to save were my little aging dog and my old SUV. I am about to lose the car, though, making it that much more difficult to get away. I foolishly took a $1,800 title loan out on it trying to keep us afloat back when I still believed he was a good, honest, caring man that was just going through a rough patch. I’ve managed to scrape together the payments just to keep the loan open so far, but that ended last month. Any day the car and my last hope will be gone.
I can’t go to a shelter with my dog. I can’t give my dog to someone else because he attached himself to me and it would crush him, like I have been crushed, to be separated from me. I can’t euthinize him because he is the only link to my humanity that I still have.
The only thing I can think of to do now is to reach out and pray for the compassion of strangers to help me out of this living nightmare.