I think I should be okay if I’m able to raise $1000
I don’t know what to do. I have the smallest goal and yet everything in my life makes it so complicated to accomplish it.
I feel ultimately pathetic, empty, numb, worthless, hopeless, and useless.
I know I’m experiencing a serious psychological problem however even just assessment is costly. If I could get help figuring out the primary problem to my mental defect, maybe I can find affordable– strongly a OHIP covered therapist to help me improve my life. But I can’t.
Finding a job would be pointless with an untreated mentally unstable person. I tried going on the bus alone for once and I got humiliated and that triggered me to spacing out of reality. I almost lost my way home and I almost had urges to hit my head against the glass.
I don’t want to go back to a psych ward. The only thing they help is put me on a better anti depressants. But my current nurse has not messaged me back and I can’t get a refill. Now I’m back to low energy, hopeless, unmotivated mood…per usual. I see no difference to be honest.
I know there’s people who needs the most more than me. I have nothing to offer in this society. Besides I just want to be able to see my long distant girlfriend who is the only person in my life that gives me the drive to get help. It breaks my hear that I can’t do anything to return the favour. I just want to be normal and take care of her, despite the fact that she reminds me that I do take care of her so much… I don’t see it…and I wanna do more for her and myself.
I appreciate the support if you guys would like to help me out. I HATE asking for help but it seems I’m getting a little desperate…
I’m an Artist as well. I am trying to find commissions here and there to support saving up also…it’s just hard. Hard drawing when my mental state just reminds me of how shit my art is and I’ll never be able to get to where I am in my career.
P.S. Please don’t hesitate to email me (I hope my email is attached) resources that could aid in my mental health. I am registered in CAMH but the nurse that I’ve been calling for weeks now have never called me back… so I’m just out of options.