Please help me. I have no photos regarding my issues. I am 43 years old, and I have been unable to work since July of 2017. I have degenerative disc disease in my back. I worked for a little over a year after it started getting really really bad. Now it is so bad that I cannot do anything on my own, I can’t cook, I can’t clean, I can’t take a shower on my own, I can’t stand or walk for longer than three to five minutes at a time. I hardly ever leave my home, and I have no vehicle, so when I do need to go somewhere my fiance pushes me in my wheelchair. I have a walker that I use, I have a cane, and handicap bars in a handicap seat in my shower. I have four children, three grandchildren, and I have no way to do anything for myself or for them. I have no way to make any money because I can’t work and I have depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety and panic attacks. I have applied for disability and been denied five times, even having gone before the administrative law judge, I still got denied. My fiance has PTSD and he works side jobs to make little bits of cash to help us get by. He was in the army for 8 years. I am unable to make any money to pay the bills, the rent, the electricity, the gas bill, and just things that we need to live and make it. I cant afford food and I am not eligible for any help. I started working when I was 15 years old, and now I can’t do that anymore, and I feel as though that was taken from me and I miss it so so much, I just wish I could work but I cannot. It makes me angry inside. I want to be able to at least rent a home of my own and not have to stay with other people. Which at this point I cannot do. I need to get a vehicle. It would help my life
immensely because my quality of life at its best once was an eight, but for the last 5 years my quality of life has been more like a two. I am so depressed most days I feel like giving up, and just stepping out in front of a bus. But I won’t because I love my children and my grandchildren I don’t want them to remember me that way. I have no way to get any help, and I have tried and tried and tried, to no avail. My pain is so bad most days I can’t get out of bed nor do I want to, and I don’t have insurance so I can’t see a regular doctor to get on medication to help with my pain and when it gets so bad I cry and break down in tears because the pain is so excruciating I can’t take it anymore. What I would like help with is the money to get a place to live, get a vehicle, and be able to pay my own bills, and put food in the cabinets and the refrigerator. The stress of money has just about torn me and my fiance apart many times, if I could get help it would help my life so much and I would be so immensely grateful and thankful for anything that I would get. There are times when I feel so worthless and useless and just rotting away, a waste of life, wondering what my existence is really for. And I’ve always thought if I ever was lucky enough to win the lottery or anything like that, I would take care of my money issues and all of my debt which I have quite a bit of medical debt. But I would also help my children my grandchildren my family meaning my parents and my brother and sisters. And I would like to give money to a charity like St Jude’s children’s research hospital and maybe even possibly the ASPCA to help all of those poor animals. I cry myself to sleep almost every night wondering what’s going to happen the next day or how I am going to make it but I don’t lose Hope and Faith that someday my life will get better. Thank you so much for reading and / or listening. I pray to God every day, to please please help me. I can only hope and pray for a miracle.