Hello dear someone, it’s difficult to start but as many people here I think I am stuck and totally depressed.
My life story is not all sun and flowers. I am middle child of three, father left us when I was 4. years old. Thanks to god or someone else that this happened. He was heavy drinker and very violet person. He was destroying everything around him and even us. As I said I am middle child I have 1 year older sister and 5 years younger brother. We were living on farm of my grandparents (grandpa died when I was 4 with leukemia) so we stayed there my mom, her mom my grandma and my aunt and of course my evil father. I don’t know what was the reason but he was very violet specially to me, it’s very difficult to say but I will mention just few things what he was doing…. one morning that as every working day my mom woke me and my sister to get dressed around 5am as she and my sister opened the door of the room the window throw one flower on floor my father wake up still drunk he started to get aggressive I was so afraid of him to get bitten that I pee in my bed, he saw me and yes this was even worse… One day he come home, after few days of drinking I had a fewer because my ears were in pain, he told me that it’s because my ears are dirty, he started to clean my ears so blood come out… I was so scared of him I was hiding most of the time… he was also threatening to my mom all the time when she tried to protect me, even with a knife on her neck.
all of this and many other things were happening during my childhood. Then finally war comes and he decided to live is and go in Bosnia. At the same time my mom discovered that she is pregnant with my brother but at home everything was already too late. Grandma decided to literally throw my mom with her three children out.
My mom took us in the best place as she could. Place had a roof and beds for us. We were frizzing all the winter. Me and my sister were really small but we support her as much as we could, brother was a little baby at that time.
Soon we had to go to school it was still even more difficult to survive. We were every time it was possible try to get some extra money. When others were on vacations we need to work. We went to work on farm helping to pick up the vegetable and do different work on fields.
I didn’t know how sea looks like till the day mom took us for one day on the sea side. It was magical I had 9 years.
I finished school, get a job, and I can say I am healthy, but as the years are passing, I still cannot see a bright future that I could have the opportunity to have something that I want the most my own home.
I am trying my best to save some money but anyway my wish seems to be so far away. Even if I would wanted to take a morgue I cannot, salary is too small, risks are too big to lose everything even the things I don’t even imagine I could have, I don’t have anyone to ask for help.
This is the reason I decided to share my story. I am desperate to start a new life my life with my own home. For my home I would need around 140.000€.
I know I’m a good person and I would like to feel safe and free, I just need help. If there is someone who can help me.
I have hope and believing that also I have a chance for being happy and that there somewhere is someone who make my wish come true.
Thank you for reading.
With open heart love you all.