My girls and I need HOPE.
So, every which way I turn I hit nothing but dead end roads and brick walls. My youngest has been saying the past few weeks how she wants her own bedroom. A HOME with a real kitchen. It kills me inside, it hurts.. I am a self taught, strong independent woman. After having my twins Genesis and Caroline who are now 4yrs old, I have had trouble getting back into steady work. Reliable income. I also have a 10ur old daughter Ellanore as well. She is so smart and I am so proud of her. She has never had it easy. As much as I try to shield her away from bad and hurt. She was abused when she was 3 by a close family member. Shortly after her father died at 4yrs old. By time she was 6 I was now pregnant with twins, not able to work anymore, depending on a man who was the best actor I have ever met. Ever since I allowed him into our lives all he has done is being me down and anything to hurt me physically and mentally. I have lost 3 homes bc of him. He put me in debt with Xfinity. He has broken into home and robbed me andy girls of our rent money and every electronic thing he could grab. He has stolen my car, had me arrested on false accusations 3 separate times. I finally was breaking free from him. Getting my girls and I away from him and his abuse. After 2 yrs of living in a hotel, FINALLY MOVING INTO PUR OWN HOME! A TOWNHOUSE in Pennsylvania. Our move in date was 1-20-22. 12-21-21 I allowed the twins to go with him till after the new year, that way I could pack and start moving our lives 5 hrs away. As agreed on 1-02-22, I came back to pick the twins up. He has other things in mind. As soon as I arrived he started yelling and screaming and then the hitting followed right behind. I grabbed my girls as fast as I could not knowing he was on the phone with the police. Needless to say, I was soon arrested and sent to jail under false accusations of second degree burglary sitting on 12,000 cash bail. THERE WENT OUR HOME!! I SAT IN JAIL TILL MARCH 2,2022 BECAUSE OF HIM. BECAUSE WE LOST THE HOME WE HAD WAITED AO LONG FOR! We were so heartbroken and still are. Since then we can barley afford the hotels on a weekly basis. Somehow I have managed this far. Along with paying storage fees. I am constantly looking for work and the next job I can make more money. The next gig I can do. Nothing that is getting us further in life. For the past few years I have had this goal/dream to start up my own Mobile Detailing Business. With this, I would have another opportunity to get away and be free. I could afford a lawyer to defend us on court against him when I can take him. (Which I have been documenting everything since I was let free)
So I have slowly started collecting items I would need to successfully do the jobs I would be hired on for. Only a few more things I need. I need a trailer. I would use my Honda Odyssey to pull the trailer till I able to purchase a work truck to use for the business. I them would need to purchase a water tank. I already have a gas powered pressure washer and an electric pressure washer too. I have all the towels and rags possibly needed and scrub brushes. I need all the products to clean and wax and shine. The most important thing of all would to aquire my license first before doing any job. This way, with starting up this mobil detailing business, I would have a reliable income for my girls and be able to provide so much more. They deserve it. They deserve to have a place to call home. They deserve to have somewhere they know is their home and not worry Bout leaving to some place else. My girls would be there learning from me and watching. Learning how to be strong independent woman. This wouldn’t be the end. Starting this company would only be the beginning of much more goals and dreams I have.
I have never asked for help. This was quiet a pill to swallow. Always want to do things on my own because I know I am quiet capable. Lately, I just don’t understand. We need a fresh start somewhere new. I have no family, no friends. So we wouldn’t be leaving anything behind but bad memories. Even as a child myself growing up in new Castle. Life was hard. I have raised my self since 5. Mom would leave home while going to work all day. My father used to abuse me an also tried to kill me. Would have, if he wasn’t put away for murdering his apparent boyfriend. After that my mother’s boyfriends were not any better. They would abuse me andy sister as well. My mother was always worried about dying alone and would blame us for them leaving her. Didn’t matter the abuse we took from them. Or the uncles that touches us, having to fend for ourselves at 5. At 16 I was kicked out the house and been on my own since then. I haven’t been able to create a stable home. I have failed so far. One thing I have not failed and WILL NOT is being the best mother I can be. Everything I went thru as a child prepared me to be the mother I am today. Over protective. I always miss them and tell them how much I love them. Most importantly, men is not something I bring into their lives. I refuse to allow that. I refuse to take the chance of bringing them around my girls in trusting them with the safety of my girls unlike my mother…
My whole point… I know I am rambling on, but my point is, I just need the chance. I need the help to start something up to change our lives. We have no one. So here I am reaching out. I pray, God I pray someone reaches out. Help us out in anyway. We would be so grateful.