I wish I could work like everyone else, but I cant, I tried and failed. I’m diagnosed with Melancholic Depression, Dissociative PTSD and Other Specified Personality Disorder with Mixed Features. I’ve been through a lot, I was treated as a tool for my parents own goals and emotionally abused and neglected by them since I was a kid. It was only when I was 20 that I was able to escape them through a really messy move, I had to leave everything behind besides the luggage I could take with me on the plane, and I’ve been dealing with the consequences of their actions and neglect of me all my life and especially so after I was able to escape physically.
I’m still in contact with them here and there but I don’t want to be. But I have no choice sometimes and have to ask them for money just to continue existing.. and every time I do it, it kills me inside and triggers all the memories and pain to come back, I just want to exist without them in my life in every way and establish a life far away from them in every sense.
I have many surprise medical bills that my medicaid didn’t cover and I have no way to pay them.
I just really need help, I’ve exhausted all options to try and get myself help with my limited ability to do so, the help that I have sought will take time like my disability case, but for right now I’m barely scraping by with other aides like EBT, I usually run out of it by the end of the month, and it doesn’t cover my cats food and litter expenses. I’m on meds for my conditions but I’m still debilitated by them, especially so in the matter of how I feel, and am a genuine burden on my partner, he’s trying his best for the both of us but I know I’m a huge financial burden on him as he himself has mental health conditions and a HAGL shoulder injury which is interfering with his ability to work at his job so he’s had lessened hours and were barely scraping by.
In the long term we want to move away from where we are, and establish roots together in a place untainted by trauma and pain, I really just want to exist for the first time in my life as myself with no more pain from my family, I don’t to have to rely on them when all they do is cause me pain, I’ve tried many times to communicate my genuine self with them, but they do not see me or hear my words.
I don’t want to burden anyone but please help me exist, any amount I will be grateful for. Thank you.
https://paypal.me/Nenomo