I’m starting to finally come to terms with…
…the fact that my body is against me, and wearing down more rapidly by the day.
I’m 29 years old, 3 ft.9 in. and this May was the 10-year mark of when I had both of my hips replaced (a year after graduating high school). This isn’t a celebration…10 is the amount of years until you’re to have them re-replaced.
Also, I have been in need of bilateral knee replacements since the consultation for my hips. The doctors felt my hips were more important, at the time… thinking I would get my knees done shortly after.
However…my second adoptive mother (My first adoptive – single – mother, who was also a little person, passed away when I was 15 years old from a complication during surgery to remove a tumor in her abdomen. They considered it ovarian cancer, though it was spreading fast. And my birth parents and younger sister – who are not little people – are alive and well in St. Petersburg, Russia) had taken care of my surgeries in the past, but will not help me pursue my current medical endeavors (Haha, like they’re fun journeys…), due to my being too old to take care of, since she has a new husband, house, and life these days.
Anyway, I’m surviving off of a monthly disability check that just barely covers my monthly rent (I’m a tenant in an overfilled house of people with nowhere else to go), phone bill, and about $80 spending cash… for the entire month.
I wake up every morning stiff as a board and in miserable pain – who am I kidding, that’s what my usual full day feels like. I walk with two canes, just to get around the house, but if I’m lucky enough to have someone willing to push me in the wheelchair, I’m able to get out for some fresh air.
I have to use the only PayPal account that I can access, which is the one of my ex-boyfriend (we parted ways so he could actually live a life of his own, but then he passed away 2 years ago) because an ex-friend of mine locked me out of my own PayPal account with my name on it. It is hard for me to trust anyone anymore.
This isn’t my whole story, but I hope it’s enough to understand why I could really use this help. I don’t prefer or like to ask for help, but it’s time I swallow my pride and reach out. Otherwise, I’m at a total loss of what I will do.
I believe in God, and pray, every day, that He will improve my circumstances, and help me to enjoy what time I have left on earth.
“Everything will be okay in the end.
If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”
Thank you.
Thank you.
And may God bless those who respond to this with