As a young teenager I had aspired to be an entrepreneur. My plan was to make money legitimately so I could not only lead a comfortable life, but help those who would never have the opportunity to do so to inspire hope.
Unfortunately, those dreams came to a halt.
Welcome to my world.
I was raised mainly by my mother, as my father was working day & night to provide us with food and a roof over our heads. Something I constantly thank him for, and will forever appreciate it.
In my house-hold lived my father, my mother, my brother & me. As time went on, my brother developed a cocaine & alcohol issue. This began at age 16 when he made the regretful decision to ‘hang’ with the wrong group. To this day, it is a habit he has not kicked.
I started work at age 16; 1 day after leaving school with the intention of helping him.
But he wasn’t interested. He was too comfortable with this lifestyle he chose.
This left me with a feeling of guilt later in life; what could I have done to help him? The answer was nothing. There’s 9 years difference between us, and this started when I was 6.
Cutting a long story short, he has rinsed my mother of all funds due to his habits; myself included. My father is not interested. As a result, I am over £18k in debt and my mother is struggling to pay her rent. Looking back now, I would have approached things very differently however, there’s no hindsight without experience, right? I was Naïve and the older I got, the more willing I was to give him cash to fund his habits just for a quiet nights sleep. I had to pay for peace of mind. It was a double edged sword.
I recently visited took a trip away for 2 days with the intention of coming back with a brand new mindset, to re-build and re-imagine myself as a person. One who values what matters most. (To add, I have an extreme fear with flying but I was getting on that plane one way or another)
I came back from my trip and realised you cannot help someone who does not want to be helped. You can only be there for them in times of need. I have explained to my brother that there is no more cash as if this continues, I will never lead the life I once dreamed of living.
I plan to start fresh, spend money only where needed with hope that one day I can pay my mothers rent without a worry and make one last attempt to put my brother into private rehab. Once I have (hopefully) accomplished this or at least made an attempt, I can focus on my own goals. There is only so much a human can do before they acknowledge precious time is being wasted.
If anyone is able to help me out of this situation, which admittedly I put myself into but with good intentions, any help will be greatly appreciated.
I wish you a blessed day and thank you for taking the time to read my story.