My story began last year in 2019. My mother became ill with breast cancer and, at the time, I was living in another city, about 120 miles from her. I had bought my own little house, that had a fenced in backyard and lived there with my two small dogs. I am the youngest in a family of five children, but for one reason or another, my siblings could not take care of her, so I sold my home and moved back to my hometown to live with my mom and take care of her. At the same time, the youngest of my three older sisters became ill. We did not know what was wrong with her and she was first diagnosed with lupus, however, she kept getting worse and worse, and she was having symptoms that were not lupus related. It was then, we found that she had ovarian cancer. It was stage IV. She lasted three more weeks, then passed away in January, 2020. In the first part of May, 2020, my mother got the coronavirus and, because her immune system was compromised, she became deathly ill. I was quarantined with her until she got so bad I could not care for her any longer and I took her to the hospital. I did this as a last resort, because I knew that people who went to the hospital, often, did not come home. She was given all kinds of medication, but, eventually, she had to be put on a ventilator and she passed away at the end of May. I had been living with her and we had been dividing the house payment and utilities.
When she died, we had to put her house up for sale to pay debts that she had and to pay for her funeral expenses. That meant I no longer had any place to live. My brothers and sisters either are in bad situations or do not have room for me to move in with them. One is in an abusive situation, one does not have any extra room in their house and one is in an assisted living facility. I found a place for rent, but I have been trying to pay $1000/month, because I couldn’t find another place that allowed me to have my dog, which I am trying to get recognized as an emotional assistance animal. You see, I am bipolar with extreme anxiety, and I need my little dog to keep me calm. My dog is a miniature longhair dachshund, whom I adore. In my life, I have been hospitalized multiple times for depression, anxiety and suicidal attempts. I don’t like to share that part of my life, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I didn’t think life was supposed to be this hard or this cruel. I am Jewish and I have a life insurance policy, but I cannot take my life. That is against everything I stand for as a Jew, but to be honest, I am worth more dead than alive.
In June of this year (2020), I lost my job due to Covid-19. I used to be a bartender and made great money in wages and tips, but the bar, where I worked, closed down in February and I have run out of unemployment. I am now, just trying to get the bare minimum to pay the rent and utilities, in order to survive in a home. I’m thinking that next month I will probably be living in my car, but I’m trying to take one month at a time. If anyone out there can help me, I might not be able to repay you, but I would be eternally grateful. Thank you and be safe.