Where do I begin..
Ive attempted to write this several times and it keeps turning into a biography of my life so I’ll just tell you a bit about myself and skip ahead 20 odd years.
My name is Z, I’m in my early 30’s and I live in Australia. I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety most of my life and have never been able to keep a job.
In 2014, I was on the edge of being homeless after my mother moving away to live with her fiancé. I had been staying with a friend & his family and then with a random guy. I started casually hooking up with a girl who eventually convinced me into a relationship and to move in with her and her family. Things seemed perfect but shortly after I had moved in her personality completely changed. She became possessive and controlling to an extreme extent. I wasn’t allowed to get a job, go on social media or even watch movies with females wearing bikinis. If something came on tv that I wasn’t supposed to look at she would interrogate me to the point that it felt like a wasn’t a person anymore. It honestly felt like psychological torture. I tried to leave several times but she would barricade the door with her body or in some cases, slit her wrists right in front of me. I was trapped. So I just stayed at dealt with it. I lost what few friends I did have since I wasn’t allowed to socialise with the unless she accompanied me, which they understandably grew tired of.
About a year or two into our relationship we moved out into a home owned by my family. Things were good for this circumstances I was in. Her stepfather even got me a job that I was “allowed” to do. I was a bin delivery guy. I would drive around the city and deliver and repair bins for people. I never enjoyed working since I’d never found my passion, but for once I didn’t hate work. I got to drive around all day and wasn’t stuck somewhere under constant supervision getting anxious and uncomfortable. I’d was so proud of myself once the year mark approached. I’d actually held a job for a year. I was living comfortably and despite having no free time I was happy. Not long after that though I discovered that my girlfriend had been talking to someone she met playing games online. Well this crushed me. After all the crap she had put me through. I took a weeks leave from work to compose myself and work things out with her. The day before I was due back to work we got a call from her stepfather. Her mum had been taken to hospital. She’d had a stroke. I ended up taking more time of work to help my partner cope with this and eventually I lost my job. To make the situation more difficult, we were pregnant. This is where my debt began. I had a $2000 overdraft limit which I used while waiting for government benefits. I’ve never been able to catch up on that and it’s been 3 years.
My little man was born in 2019. We were full of joy to be blessed with a healthy baby boy. Unfortunately his mother started suffering from post natal depression and began sleeping all day, leaving me to look our child. This process still continues to this day. I don’t care at all. He’s my son and I love the little guy and would give the world to him if I could. That said, I wasn’t easy.
My depression was getting severe and I began playing phone games to occupy my mind. I started putting money into games, playing them for a week and then moving on to the next. I wasn’t thinking clearly anymore and was making stupid financial decisions. I went through the small savings I had and was left living pay check to pay check.
I eventually all but killed off this habit however I have never regained financial stability.
COVID hit and I fell into the trap of “buy now, pay later” services to get essentials and pay for bills/rent. I’m now stuck in a loop where I get my fort nightly payments and it’s gone immediately. I’m currently thousands of dollars behind in rent. My utility bills are outstanding and are probably going to be cut off soon. My car recently broke down so I can’t even take my son for a drive or go to the supermarket regularly.
I don’t know what do do anymore. It’s breaks my heart that my son has to live like this. That his father his an unemployed loser with no initiative.
I’ve applied for dozens of loans over the last 2 days and have been rejected every time.
You guys are my only hope now. I feel ashamed having to ask hard working people for help. My own family are ready to kick me out of the house I’m renting. Please, if you can, help me as my family to get back on our feet.
I need a hero.
Thank you all for your time and understanding.
Stay safe in these difficult times.
PayPal.Me/ineedaheroo