I just need some help | Begging Money

I have 3 brothers all are fine financially but they have never been generous EVER for any occasion. They are the kind of men you could never just say…hey can you loan me £50, please. No matter how dire your life is they were raised by our mother a not-very-nice lady who taught them to not care for their sisters. And it does not make me happy to write that but it is true and took me into my adult life to recognise that mother just did not care for any of her daughters…you were like slaves to her {that is a West African thing} and those of us who know….just KNOW.

Since September I have been homeless with my younger sister who is Bipolar and frankly I cannot cope with her as she has such terrible outbursts whereby she will scream at me for ages and sometimes I am just too scared to be around here. Not because she is violent per se but more because I cannot take her endless screaming and insults. I have been booking places for us to stay she could have helped but she spent all her money online shopping. I work after being out of work for many, many years and not because I am stupid…far from it. I have been working since this year but being homeless and working is not fun at all. I feel stressed out and sad because I text and emails my brother every day for help and every day they ignore me. Our moved passed away a few years ago and even if she were alive would not make a difference because you cannot alter what you created. My mother hated females and valued males which is why my brothers, not the smartest men at all, all have an overwhelming arrogance and smog ways about them.

Family means nothing to my brothers and I don’t think anybody has 3 brothers quite as horrible as mine. They have zero compassion and even fought over who would pay our mother’s funeral costs. If anybody ever met them they would say the same thing….your brothers are so nice…I wish I had that fake quality that certain people give off with ease. They are nothing short of disgusting, vile human beings. These guys even ignored their niece’s 16th Birthday because they HATE the child’s mother but that kind of tells you something of their personalities as who takes out their disagreement with a sibling towards a child??

I could go on about my brothers and even when I have done this to people who know us all because they knew us all from childhood I can see they just do not believe a word I say. Well, that goes back to that thing that some people do so well which is to have that charming public face that just wins people over…whilst I usually watch totally incredulous. The kind of cruelty I have come to know from my brothers is worthy of a novel and if I were not so tired both physically and mentally I would be writing pages and pages.

I have only been back at work this year and would be surviving just fine if I had gotten work when I wanted and needed it most but had over a decade of unemployment due to an ex-boss who destroyed my professional life.

I am not a quitter and I have rarely ever asked anybody for help as was more the person that people came to for help I am not somebody who readily ignores anybody going through hardship…as the Oriental lady once told me who was observing people dodge and ignore a homeless guy like he was not there asking for help…she watched my interaction with him and said…you have a very kind heart and she was not wrong. As I do not understand people who are unkind, meanspirited, utterly selfish or lacking the imagination to know that sometimes people need help and for the most part it is sometimes never easy to ask for help because to be rejected can really make a person feel down. and lower then what they feel already.