I’m wondering if someone could help me.
I am severely broken and really struggling to cope. The last thing I want to do is complain about all my sad and traumatic experiences and I don’t want feel like I think I’m better than anyone or any more deserving. I have thought about doing this for a long time but in all honesty, have told myself it’s selfish and that I’m unworthy of help. I really can’t continue on this way and so I’m asking for help.
One reason I’ve talked myself out of asking for help is that I don’t want to ask anybody for money. After some thought, however, I wondered if someone would help out if we did things differently.
My thoughts have been stuck in an extremely negative pattern for many years and it’s a unconscious habit now that I just can’t control on my own. I’m destroying my life.
My experiences and bad habits have crippled me far beyond the point I ever imaged it would get to. I am no longer functioning like a normal, responsible adult (If I ever was). I fight myself through each and every day. It’s a mental battle that truly is killing me.
I am constantly judging myself and convincing myself to make all the wrong decisions and that I deserve nothing.
This has interfered with all aspects of my life. The people around me, my work, education, finances, health and mental well-being. Everything. I don’t even live life at this point.
I’ve developed several dysfunctional behaviors over the years other than the negative thinking. Chronic skin picking (all my life), OCD, body dysmenorrhea to name a few.. I feel fortunate to be sober, despite all this. Drugs and alcohol are not at all a problem for me. Other than I’m hooked on weed. I don’t want to be though.
I just want to feel normal and happy and get to experience life before it’s too late. Without beating myself down, dysfunctional behavior and wasting time sitting inside, hiding from the world.
I really want, need to change my life.
So I wondered if someone might be willing to help get me to a specialist, a psychologist, a counselor or therapist.
I don’t want to deal with the money at all.
Maybe this would persuade someone more if they know truly that the money is going to help someone.
I’ll tell you my city, you pick the doctor and I’ll go get the help. It would be so much appreciated. Please
Thank you so much