I’m an EMT working full time at a large pediatric practice in Colorado. I’ve been working here for 3 years. I have a 6 year old son that I have full custody of. I’ve had full custody since he was 9 months old. His mother and I went through a year long custody battle where she made up false allegations about me to try and gain leverage. After spending nights in jail and starting out with supervised visits because of her false allegations, the courts finally saw that she was making it all up after months of documenting everything and building my own case. I was ultimately awarded primary custody with sole decision making but I basically sold everything I owned to pay for lawyers and basically had to start all over luckily at this time I didn’t have credit card debt. Fast forward a bit and my sons mom wants to relinquish her rights and get out of paying child support so it was just him and I from then on.
Then fast forward to my son being five: I found a woman that I thought would be able to fill that role of mom that my son had been missing. She had two sons and we all eventually moved in together. A few months after we all moved in together my new girlfriend and my sons main positive female role model is diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS). I became the primary bread winner and I had to use a ton of my credit and all of my saving to help with her medical and travel expenses let alone all of our daily expenses. I even helped her with some of her debt thinking it was for the best for our family. I genuinely thought we would be together for ever. I continued to work full time because we still needed to pay for everything else. My girlfriend was in and out of the hospital so I had to take care of all the kids most of the time when I wasn’t working. We also had to take emergency trips to the ER.
It became too much and I could never do enough for her. Nothing was ever good enough and it seemed like maybe the MS was effecting her cognitive ability. She became extremely irrational and insatiable. I was doing everything I could and I was trying to stick it all out but eventually we both realized we couldn’t keep going on like this. She became very bitter about it all and decided to cut us off (me and my son) completely, saying it was the only way she could heal or truly “get over me”.
I was forced to move back in with my parents after splitting with her because rent in my home town is ridiculously expensive (Durango, Colorado) and I didn’t have any money. Before all this happened I was also going to school so I could finish my bachelors and go to PA school. I’m currently 15 credits from graduating but I had to withdrawal from the courses I was in when all of this went down because I had absolutely no time. So to add I still have to pay for that $1800 course as well.
To top it all off I got really sick. I was able to hold on to my job but the $9,000 in credit card debt, $1000 in payday loans, and 4,000 in saving that I had went straight into paying for and supporting my girlfriend and her new chronic illness while trying to support a family of 5. I gave her $2,000 that she said she would pay back and she also said she was going to help pay for the credit card debt but she has disappeared off the face of the earth and I know she doesn’t have any money either. She is also going through a very rough time.
I have about $15,000 in credit card debt/payday loans/ other expenses that are holding me down and are keeping me and my son from continuing the plan that I had for our futures. I have a big plan for Rocky Mountain Sportsman. I’m hoping to turn it into a full time gig so I can get out of the 9-5 so I can spend more time with my son but most of my paycheck is getting eaten up by credit card interest. My current job is rigorous but the pay really isn’t great.
Something I thought was going to be the best for the both us turned out to be a disaster and I feel like there is no way for me to get past it now financially. The interest just keeps racking up and all of my paycheck goes to these credit card companies that are ripping me off. I feel that if something isn’t done soon it’s just going to keep on getting worse. I’m at my whits end. I’m so desperate to get out of this hole so I can give my son the life he deserves. So I can be the father he’s proud of. I’m more than willing to put in the work!
I’ve been in the position where I’ve had money to help people in big ways and in small ways and part of me always thought that maybe by doing so it would come back to me at some point….So, I’m asking for help. I would be so grateful for any amount to help us get back on track. I am completely embarrassed to be asking and please do not feel obligated in any way! This is not your problem at all but closed mouths don’t get fed and I thought I’d might as well ask. Please help!