My name is, Samuel. I’m a 34 year old contractor with a loving fiancé of 12 years (I haven’t been able to afford to give her the wedding she deserves) three beautifully happy children (Rosie, Boo and Jr) and our 2 dogs (Isabella & Prince). I don’t want any confusion, I’m incredibly happy with how my life is going! However, that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement and this is what brings me to you. Before reading further I will have you know that I will follow up with anyone upon request. I want to be as transparent as possible. I’m currently working two jobs and trying to keep my head above water with my family’s busy schedule.
I was born in the Midwest in 1985 to a beautiful young woman that struggled with mental health issues, drug/alcohol abuse and lived as a prostitute. It could have been expected that if she were to have children they would be subjected to physical and mental abuse themselves. I was. By age 5 I was in state custody. My mother was reported for being high and I was temporarily removed from my home. Once returned, I was subjected to things no child should ever have to endure. Drugs, domestic violence, and sexual abuse were common. A couple years after returning home I was picked up from school by my mother and dropped off at a “group home” (orphanage) and didn’t see her again for nearly 2 decades.
Once in the system I struggled with anger/temperament issues, incredible amounts of sadness/depression and an overall sense of loneliness. I guess I figured if my own mother would abandon me then the rest of the world definitely didn’t have my best interest at heart. I fought, ran away and walked out of class more times than I can count. Until I aged out of the system at age 19 I was in six group homes and nineteen different foster homes. Throughout this period, I learned only how to control my emotions. I became an adult never having a support system or the knowledge needed in order to make it day to day in society. Cliché as it may sound, I felt like I was just another number in the system and that’s a shitty way to feel as a kid. Anyway, years later I realized that I was in fact just another number and the system is overwhelmed with cases like mine with very few resources to manage them.
I was accepted into College with no real knowledge of how to manage my time or finances. My foster mother I was however in love with my high school sweetheart and I wanted to be the best man I could for her. I began working full time and tried, but failed to prioritize classwork over my immediate need to work and provide. I was a contract laborer working sun up to sun down because for the first time in my life I’d realized that if I hold value to someone else, they’ll take care of me. I was making decent money, but I wasn’t managing it properly. I had a small house, a nice used car and money to play with, or so I thought.
At 22 I had my first daughter, Rosie , and shortly thereafter I had my second daughter, Boo. With no savings and no real credit I quickly began spinning out of control financially. I would get paid and everything would go out the door almost immediately. I wasn’t prepared for doctor visits, diapers, new clothes every other week. That, and the looming dread of failing my children financially led me to get my first credit card with a $300 limit. I maxed it out almost immediately thinking I’d be able to pay it back overnight. You can assume what followed… A son. My junior. My June Buggy. Now I’m responsible for raising a respectful, honest, hard-working, tolerant and responsible little man and I’m essentially a mouse on a wheel financially.
As I’ve grown up I’ve come into contact with my 9 half siblings, all of whom were raised with their biological fathers. I have since become the rock/patriarch of our blended family. My fiancé and I are always there when our loved ones need us. Whether it’s a warm plate of food and a couch to crash on, an ear in times of distress when they need to vent, or a weekend of rest because we’re always down to watch any of our 9 nieces and nephews… we’re always here for them. We weren’t raised together, but I love my siblings and my step parents (their parents) more than anything.
So, here I am! I’m still a contractor and work very hard to give my kids and my fiancé what they need. My kids are happy, respectful and full of life. All three of them do well in school and are physically healthy. My fiancé has climbed the ranks within her company to become an assistant manager and she is healthy and happy as well. The only thing not happy here is my credit score and financial situation. I have medical bills, student loans, a few accounts in collections and maxed out credit cards. All of these things have prevented me from starting savings funds for my children, starting a business, buying a home and marrying the woman of my dreams. I went to a lawyer to inquire about bankruptcy and was advised that because my debt is so small, he didn’t recommend me going that route. I simply want a fresh start with a guarantee to whomever helps me that I will in fact pay it forward. I have around $15k in bad debt/collections, high interest credit card payments. That along with a poor/late payment history is making it virtually impossible to reach my goals and makes me feel like a mouse on a wheel. I truly appreciate you for taking the time to read my story.