Hello. My name is Lindsay. I guess my story starts when I was little girl. The only thing I’ve ever dreamed about was becoming a mom. It’s been the motivation behind every life decision I’ve made. I know I was born to be a mom, and now I know God has even bigger plans for me. I feel very shamed putting this out there and asking for a handout, but I guess it’s coming from a future mothers desperation. My wife and I have gone to fertility doctors and have tried conceiving with donor sperm. This is a pretty expensive process and we put a lot of our savings into it. Every time we tried we were let down and it became more overwhelmingly crushing each time we found out I was not pregnant. And then one day I was folding laundry and listening to a podcast and a lady was sharing her story about how she and her husband had been trying to conceive with the help of fertility doctors for 7 years and still no luck. I instantly crumbled to ground and bawled harder than I’ve ever felt myself bawl before. I wasn’t upset that thru didn’t have a baby yet,although yes that did sadden me. I wasn’t upset that I didn’t have a baby. What triggered me was that this couple decided to put themselves through this unbearable pain every month for 7 years. I couldn’t imagine going though one more month let alone 7 years worth. And they did all of this pain because they would rather have a child produced from them than another child who is already born but now without parents. That’s really the part that got me. I get it, I mean I understand wanting to have a child that came from me. I really want that too. But I cannot go through all that pain when there are already children in need of parents now! So that’s when I was able to emotionally move away from the fertility doctors. My wife and I immediately started looking into adoption and realized quickly that is not something we would be financially capable of doing. So naturally the next step is looking into foster to adopt. We started our journey and have learned so much about this process. THIS! This is what I was meant for. Of course we are in hopes to be able to adopt a child through this process, but I also know I am supposed to help these children along the way even if we don’t get to keep them forever. Their parents are going through some tough times and that’s not their fault and they deserve a happy place while they wait for their parents. So my wife and I have gone through all the classes and background checks and are at the very end of the process. We are waiting on the caseworker to tell us we are offically foster parents which they have told us we will be getting our first kiddos any day now. Now, we have a nice enough home to provide these kids. We both work full time jobs and work hard. We just happen to be caught up just like everyone else, with student loan debt and medical debt. We’ve fallen on some rough times and it’s horrible timing. We put everything we have into getting the house ready for the kids. Bunk beds and new sheets and clothes and shoes. We are ready for these kiddos and we are so ready to open our hearts. I’ve been waiting for this for so long. However in the chaos of getting everything ready, I’ve forgotten to budget for Christmas this year. I know it’s not life or death, but it does hurt my heart. I want to be able to have these kids wake up on Christmas morning and have a really good day! I want to make them breakfast casserole and hot chocolate, I want them to have a stocking gift, and at least a gift or two under the tree. I want to get them a Christmas outfit to wear so they know how special the day is. I want to be able to take them shopping so they can pick out gIfts for their parents or other family members and for their new family members. I want them to know what it feels like to be able to give gifts to others. I want to take a night to bake Christmas cookies with them and let them go overboard with the sprinkles. I had so much planned for them and now we just don’t have the money. It’s why I’m feeling desperate. I know I will go without to make sure they have something to open Christmas morning. I just wanted to give my new kids the whole package. Someone told me about this site, so I thought I would give it a try!
Thanks to anyone for reading my story!