Thanks for hearing me out. Basically, I’ve struggled with mental health all my life. As a child, I lost my 17 year old sister in an accident near Prince George, then I was sexually molested by someone I thought I could trust, then my parents separated and my dad and two older brothers moved out. My mother had a bad drinking problem and would sometimes disappear for days at a time and I wouldn’t know if she was even alive. I ended up being forced to live with my dad, and went to alternate school and went to counseling. I was 13. When I was 16, I moved back to our old house after my dad kicked my mom out. My little friend went missing. My kitty cat, Little Conan. He was let out of the house by my visiting grandmother, and I never saw him again. He left a dead mouse by the front door before disappearing.
I graduated as valedictorian for having the highest GPA in the graduating class. I was known as a very quiet, shy person, so my speech was shocking for people to hear. I was back at the school I graduated from just a few months later, as a substitute and on-call TA, while I went to University.
I finished two transfer courses in University before moving in with a couple of friends and becoming an alcoholic. I obtained a kitten from one of my roommates. He loved me, and I loved him. I called him the Obliterator, while my roommate called him by his original name, Cookie Dough. He would sleep on me, cuddle me, play with me, and he trusted me. But when she moved out, shortly after we had moved into a new apartment, she took him with her.
I moved into my boyfriend’s house, got a job at Walmart, and payed for my brother and cousin to live in my old apartment for 4 months. About 1500 per month for food, rent, internet, laundry. I had no money for myself, but I was drinking heavily at the time. It was rough. There were days when I would still be drunk heading into work.
I couldn’t support them any longer and my brother was upset at me about it. My cousin was understanding. I feel into what was the beginning of the deepest depression of my life, one that I’ve been in for over a year. I broke up with my boyfriend, whom I still loved. I couldn’t keep dragging him down.
I’ve sunk deeper and deeper and lost my job, my connection with my family. I barely remember what happiness feels like. I can’t afford to buy myself food, I’m likely going to get kicked out of my place. I need help mentally, but I can’t get counseling without paying a 75 dollar fine first.
I feel like my life is over, like I’m stuck. I have a cute cat, who I likely will have to give away. I’m alone and I don’t know where to start with fixing things. Certainly getting my rent paid or myself feed would be a good place to start. Counseling would be a nice second.
Thanks for considering a donation and hearing me out.