I find myself in a state of disbelief writing this. I’m not the sort of person who has ever begged or borrowed money off people. I have always worked hard and despite coming from a poor background I have always managed to make things work, yet living hand to mouth on a low income, and then as a mature student studying. However this year I have found myself in a desperate situation and for the first time in my life I cannot find a logical way to get myself out of my debt ridden situation and am having very dark thoughts, anxiety and feel ill with stress. I researched crowd funding sites and this website came up and I am going to have to swallow my pride and ask for help. I moved last year to a new country and began working various jobs to live. I was initially promised paid work when I arrived but got to the live work accommodation and found it not to be the case- just volunteering in exchange for board. I arrived with virtually no money as I had been caring for my elderly mother for six months and had been a student for the 5 years before that. Within the space of a year, my three elderly dogs all got very sick and had to be put to sleep calling for thousands in vets bills. I worked various jobs in order to earn enough to pay for registration costs, buy a car and insurance and rent a place but as it was a rural area, the work dried up at Christmas. I found myself jobless and had used all my money to pay for the vets bills and subsequent euthanasias. I was then offered a job setting up a business for a lady on the promise of a good wage, contract and profit share. I went about creating an Arts venue and cafe- recruiting nearly forty local artists and makers and holistic therapists who wished to exhibit and rent rooms at the venue. I did everything. The decorating, marketing, recruiting and worked in the kitchen cooking and baking. The opening party I advertised attracted hundreds of people but I found myself if a vulnerable situation as the woman who owned the business was very unbalanced with clear mental health problems and I discovered she had no intention of giving me the contract that she told me was coming continuously. Then, less than two weeks into opening, Covid peaked. We were forced to close and I was told I was no longer welcome in the building that I had been living in while creating the business. I moved into a small gite down the road but was unable to pay the rent so moved into a small chalet of a lady stuck in the UK who needed someone to feed her cat during lockdown. I don’t know what I would have done otherwise as I had nowhere to live and no money. I found myself in a strange country with nothing and then could not find work during lockdown. I spent three months out of work but when lockdown ended I managed to find small odd jobs to pay for tax declarations and work needed for my car which needed a new timing belt and nearly 900 spent on it. As work was so scarce here I set up my own business using the contacts I had established with the previous venture. Covid however has decimated everything and now because of the costs of setting up the business, finding deposits and rent for the building, I am now drowning in debt and feeling completely overwhelmed and depressed. I am desperately trying to make the business work and am branching out to selling online shortly but I need to find a way to clear my debts as I am spiralling more and more out of control and am terrified. I have been so anxious I want to go to the doctor to get medication but that would in turn cost more money that I can’t afford. If I could find away to eliminate the debt I am sure I would feel much better in myself anyway. I have been to the bank and asked for help but there is nothing they can do. I also asked if there was anyway I could get a small loan to buy a home here so I could have some security but they cannot do. I feel like i’m drowning and there is no way out. I am looking for donations from anyone that is in a position to help. Even a loan that I could pay back in a few years time would help. Anything really. It is humiliating to write this but I have to find a solution rather than have a breakdown. If anyone could help please let me know. Thank you for your time.
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