Many out there pass under an overpass or past an area downtown along the sight of a person laying there homeless. Most people say “how does someone become homeless, that would never happen to me”. Well I was one of them many people. If I had money on me I would always give something. Never frowned upon them, but said glad that’s not me. Well that is me now and yes I am the mother of a 7yr old son. We are at temporary housing situations right now and that splits us apart so no we cannot have the choice to live together right now, unless we stayed on the streets. I am horrified of losing my son meaning have to live separately but I refuse to let him live on the street. I miss waking up to his smile every morning, to snuggling him tight falling asleep with him. I chose to have to live separately right now because I cannot bear to let him live with emotional and physical abuse to us ny someone who is not even his father. The last straw thanking everything in my life that he was not there that night to witness the most terrifying night I have ever had. I was beaten repeatedly choked over and over again fearing to lose consciousness pushed and shoved as far away from the door as he could keep me restrained from leaving, even if I could make my way there just wanting so bad to even just reach the door. I was not going anywhere for the door was padlocked. He and his friend held me there overnight would not let me leave, no calls because of course he broke the phone. No matter how hard I cried and screamed nobody was there or came to help me. By morning they knew if I did not pick up my child or answer the phone my family knew where I was staying at and he was abusive. By early afternoon they let me call back my family members that had my child. I had left to say I was going with family and my son and I would be back home soon. I never went back. I never want my son to ever have to live a night like that or see a night like that one. I am his mother I need to keep him protected. My and my sons family has a lot of situations of there own my gram just lost her home to a sudden tragic fire, leaving her to find somewhere new to live a couple months ago. My father has battling cancer and kidney failure which puts him at dialysis for hours three days a week besides many other health problems. My mother took custody of my brothers daughter ,he had suddenly died at 34 yrs old. He was my best friend and very great loving uncle to my son. We are a loving family but each one of us seem to face continuous problems. But we always say we are given what we can handle. Temporarily my unconditionally loving grandmother has taken me in until I can find a place to live with my son. He is currently residing with my divorced mother and father who only reside together to have my niece and son be able to have stability, a safe place as one would say. The exboyfriend is still calling messaging and riding past the residences my son and I stay, even thought I have an order of protection against him and police reports. He has not been detained yet. I’ve had to spend endless hours filing reports attending court and on the phone with police and even have address confidentiality protection ny attorney general. I constantly live in fear everyday, even frightened constantly looking over my shoulder just taking my son to the park. I make it a point to see my little boy everyday and spend as much of the day as I can with him. I am waiting still for my tax check to come it has been a couple months now, it’s not a lot but would be at least enough to get our foot in a door together finally because let me tell you this last month and a half has been unbearable not being able to live with him. We have stayed together his whole life his father does not pay support or see after him in any way. He depends on me and I feel like a total failure. He doesn’t understand why we can’t just have a place for him and I to get to be together. He says that’s ok mommy I’m gonna get us some money and get us a mansion to live in and a Tesla car. A 7yr old shouldn’t have to worry about not having his mother there and not having a home. I am most appreciative and so thankful my mother and father have taken him in and my grandmother bless her heart has let me stay for a little while but she really can’t afford me to stay much longer. I had to get out of the last living situation though it was going to end up way worse than that night I know it would and my son needs to learn that women and children matter, we are somebody’s not somebody to be told what to do and beaten on when somebody’s mad or angry about anything. Most of the time due to others or his own faults , one thing I realized he never fist fought or argued with any men. He would say I’m sorry after the fighting and say but if I hadn’t done….. wrong , whatever the fight was about. I did not want my son to grow up thinking this behavior was ok and that his protector his mother was in a position that made her helpless, which in turn would make him feel very helpless. I’ve lived all six years of his life protecting him and helping him even if he was wrong, I could not let him down for anybody. Especially some guy , whom is not even his father. His own father although not around much has never called us any bad names, gave us any disgruntled looks or sighs, and has never layed any hand that would harm on either of us. This separation from my son is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, especially the day when I tried not to cry and say to him that we had to live in separate homes and I couldn’t be there to itch his back and read him a book while he falls asleep. The mommy who promised she would never let anything happen to him or never leave him has to tell him this and not be by his side every night and when he wakes up. We both cried so hard that day. And he tells me his heart is in pieces because of me and not living together and he don’t know if I can fix it. I am asking whoever reads this please please I’m begging you please help me fix my sons heart and put the pieces back together. I cry almost every night wishing I was snugging him so tight and making him feel safe,warm and so loved. Also ladies I also beg you please do not let this happen to you either. Don’t let anybody belittle you or beat on you. Don’t let your children have to go through or have to see it. They will never forgive you if you don’t try to make them feel safe and loved. I’m begging if anyone can give a dollar even any change anything to help my little boy and I get our own apartment , doesnt matter how small, somewhere to live together. I just want my son back living together and being able to have enough to make it a nice safe warm place so we can snuggie every night and he doesn’t have to feel unprotected or unwanted.