I’m turning 21 near the end of October 2019 and in the time of writing this, I have accumulated $11,000 in credit card debt. The reason is simply because I was financially irresponsible regarding my mobile game addiction. I’ve spent nearly $15,000 and I only make $1000 to $1250 a month. My credit score was 760 before this all happened and now it has dropped to 540. I’ve searched through the web for all kinds of help, be it debt consolidation loans, unsecured personal loans, balance transfer cards, and others. I’ve been rejected to every single one even when I still had a credit score of over 700 because of my age. I now realize through it all that all these lenders profit or non-profit, I can’t tell the difference anymore, are all predatory. I’d rather not get involved with them and dig myself a bigger hole. I did the math myself, being a private math tutor as source of income, and I’ll end up paying $4000 to $5000 extra by the time I finish paying off all $11000 with 80% of my monthly income. That is the story of how I accumulated my debt.
Now I’ll provide my backstory. I do not want to provide much detail in case anyone I know can connect the dots that they know me because this is very shameful to me. I started college at UCSB when I was 17 over 3 years ago. I had a rough start due to the nature of the new environment. I mentioned earlier I’m a math tutor. Math is the one subject I excel in. Ironically, Linear Algebra was the one course I failed in because I put in the least effort due to my ignorance. It was one of the biggest wake up calls in my 18 years then. I picked it up in spring quarter and brought my GPA from 1.4 to a 2.6. I also met a wonderful girl during that time and she was part of my daily motivation to work harder and study more. She was also the reason of my downfall as I am a very sensitive guy. To this day, I still have bittersweet feelings of her. I raised my GPA to 3.1 by the end of my first year at UCSB. However, she moved on that summer and I was incapable of staying at UCSB and I dropped out on November 2017. Since then, I’ve had depression and one of my ways to cope with it was to play games. That’s when my addiction to mobile games started. I’m a fairly competitive person and I had the urge to spend hundreds at first and now thousands. At this point, I still haven’t quit the game because I already poured this much into it. It has been nearly 3 months since I spent my last dime because I’m barely able to chip away at the debt with the minimum payments.
Have I learned my lesson? I don’t know. But the game is a part of me now. Do I want counselling and help? Yes I do. However I’m afraid to start anywhere until I resolve this debt. Before you assume that if you help me resolve this and I’ll just go back to spending wildly in this game, I can’t prove you wrong. However, I can tell you that I also spend my money buying food often for my younger sisters, paying the internet bill, paying part of my parents’ electricity and utility bill, and just a week ago, lended my friend $200 to help him pay off his parents’ DUI charges. All the while, not a single person knows I’m in financial trouble. I stress about the long term consequences. I’m still a student. My credit score is 540. How long will it take to recover? I know I’m not alone in this world with crippling debt. But this is my story. I hope you can send anything. I’d honestly rather have someone who can let me borrow $11000 that I can pay back over a year with no interest. But I’m desperate and I need anything to get back on my feet right now. However, I’m not desperate enough to fall for the trap of those damn credit card companies and loan companies. I swear once I am out of this hole, I will cut all my credit lines but one (just so I can build my credit). Thanks for reading until the end. The image below is my Citi bill. The other 3 cards in the title make the other $6000. This is all I can show due to my security.
If you have any questions, email me at email@example.com (its an alternate email that I use for spam)